AnnieChara (Stop KOSA)
@kodochara.bsky.social
30, She/Her. Frequently discusses 18+ subject matter. Profile pic by @alchemistdreamer.lgbt.blue
But there's a completely logical explanation for it. It sucks that so much shit had to happen for me to figure it out, but there's so much clarity now. I am hopeful I get the chance to talk to her about this sometime, when she's fully healed from all this.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
But there's a completely logical explanation for it. It sucks that so much shit had to happen for me to figure it out, but there's so much clarity now. I am hopeful I get the chance to talk to her about this sometime, when she's fully healed from all this.
Having realized this, it's a major load off my mind. For the past year, I had been lead to believe that one of my closest friends had some Phineas Gage esque transformation into a completely different person, or that Milena was fucking with her memories.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Having realized this, it's a major load off my mind. For the past year, I had been lead to believe that one of my closest friends had some Phineas Gage esque transformation into a completely different person, or that Milena was fucking with her memories.
I feel bad though, of course I would. Its so fucking ironic, something that I share in common with a former friend was also what hurt them. Not to mention, I was constantly crashing the fuck out in 2024, my brain was fucking Swiss cheese through most of last year.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
I feel bad though, of course I would. Its so fucking ironic, something that I share in common with a former friend was also what hurt them. Not to mention, I was constantly crashing the fuck out in 2024, my brain was fucking Swiss cheese through most of last year.
And oftentimes, people like myself don't realize that shit traumatizes us until we've had the chance to process it. Same applies to Dusk, but she has the assumption that I must have my shit together because I'm older. Nope, some people struggle with this shit for the rest of their lives.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
And oftentimes, people like myself don't realize that shit traumatizes us until we've had the chance to process it. Same applies to Dusk, but she has the assumption that I must have my shit together because I'm older. Nope, some people struggle with this shit for the rest of their lives.
The only issue I take with her perspective is the idea that it was an age thing and not an "abusive environment" thing. But otherwise, it makes sense. I also tend to fixate on disturbing subject matter as a result of trauma, and I have a bunch of friends that are the same.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
The only issue I take with her perspective is the idea that it was an age thing and not an "abusive environment" thing. But otherwise, it makes sense. I also tend to fixate on disturbing subject matter as a result of trauma, and I have a bunch of friends that are the same.
Also keeping in mind that she admitted to having feelings for me at one point, so of course she'd have a harder time setting boundaries because she wants to impress someone she cares about. I STILL have problems not doing that, and I'm 30.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Also keeping in mind that she admitted to having feelings for me at one point, so of course she'd have a harder time setting boundaries because she wants to impress someone she cares about. I STILL have problems not doing that, and I'm 30.
And in her case, she's a sex trafficking survivor. Of course she'd have trouble with boundaries, she literally wasn't allowed to have them most of her life. And it lead to us being friends, but it also lead to me unknowingly hurting her, because I was just as bad at perceiving boundaries.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
And in her case, she's a sex trafficking survivor. Of course she'd have trouble with boundaries, she literally wasn't allowed to have them most of her life. And it lead to us being friends, but it also lead to me unknowingly hurting her, because I was just as bad at perceiving boundaries.
I also remember that I first became friends with her because she expressed frustration that she couldn't talk about her trauma in Z&P's server because it was so extreme, and had to be told to stop bringing up fucked up shit in VC.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
I also remember that I first became friends with her because she expressed frustration that she couldn't talk about her trauma in Z&P's server because it was so extreme, and had to be told to stop bringing up fucked up shit in VC.
Anyway, I bring this all up because, I think I may finally understand the shit Dusk was saying about me. Why it never seemed like she was uncomfortable around me at the time, but is later claiming to be traumatized. Because, much like myself, she's bad at expressing boundaries.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Anyway, I bring this all up because, I think I may finally understand the shit Dusk was saying about me. Why it never seemed like she was uncomfortable around me at the time, but is later claiming to be traumatized. Because, much like myself, she's bad at expressing boundaries.
Multiple situations where someone says something that's an obvious red flag, and I recognize it as a red flag, but I second guess myself into ignoring it, because what if I'm just being paranoid?
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Multiple situations where someone says something that's an obvious red flag, and I recognize it as a red flag, but I second guess myself into ignoring it, because what if I'm just being paranoid?
There's been multiple conversations where someone says something deeply discomforting, but I say nothing, because I've come to expect that I either won't know how to vocalize my discomfort, or that this person will get defensive.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
There's been multiple conversations where someone says something deeply discomforting, but I say nothing, because I've come to expect that I either won't know how to vocalize my discomfort, or that this person will get defensive.
but a lot of people become so accustomed to something that they simply learn not to show their discomfort, or to express it. This is something I've struggled with, not just in terms of sexual boundaries, but any sort of boundaries.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
but a lot of people become so accustomed to something that they simply learn not to show their discomfort, or to express it. This is something I've struggled with, not just in terms of sexual boundaries, but any sort of boundaries.
without their consent, and how some places just turn into outright grooming mills. This is especially the case with shit like Roblox. Most people, by matter of principal, are opposed to exposing people to NSFW shit without their consent,
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
without their consent, and how some places just turn into outright grooming mills. This is especially the case with shit like Roblox. Most people, by matter of principal, are opposed to exposing people to NSFW shit without their consent,
I feel like my support of the proship community needs an asterisk next to it. I think people should have the freedom to like what they like, but it's also inevitable that there would be a puritanical backlash when you have so many communities where people have porn shoved in their face
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
I feel like my support of the proship community needs an asterisk next to it. I think people should have the freedom to like what they like, but it's also inevitable that there would be a puritanical backlash when you have so many communities where people have porn shoved in their face
I really thought of it as simple as "you're an adult when you turn 18." But, I didn't understand boundaries. I ended up playing other games that were just as disturbing. God, there must have been something wrong with me back then to.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
I really thought of it as simple as "you're an adult when you turn 18." But, I didn't understand boundaries. I ended up playing other games that were just as disturbing. God, there must have been something wrong with me back then to.
This game was one of my first experiences with that feeling. Wrote this in 2015 actually. Right now, it's hard to be imagine a work of fiction scarring me on such a level, but back then, I was 20. I didn't realize how young that was at the time.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
This game was one of my first experiences with that feeling. Wrote this in 2015 actually. Right now, it's hard to be imagine a work of fiction scarring me on such a level, but back then, I was 20. I didn't realize how young that was at the time.
Sexual trauma doesn't always stem from some older man luring you into a Discord server where he grooms you. It's sometimes exposure to something that just seeing it makes you feel wrong. guardianacorn.com/2017/11/02/s...
Starless: Nymphomaniac's Paradise (PC): Where the Stars Don't Shine (Detailed Review) (NSFL) - Guardian Acorn
A detailed look at Starless, a highly disgusting, scarring, and potentially traumatizing visual novel from the creator of Bible Black.
guardianacorn.com
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Sexual trauma doesn't always stem from some older man luring you into a Discord server where he grooms you. It's sometimes exposure to something that just seeing it makes you feel wrong. guardianacorn.com/2017/11/02/s...
There are people that are nostalgic for this period of internet history. And I often overlook the effect that this part of my life had on my development. And how It took so long to even recognize certain shit as trauma.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
There are people that are nostalgic for this period of internet history. And I often overlook the effect that this part of my life had on my development. And how It took so long to even recognize certain shit as trauma.
I let men take advantage of me, and they were drawn to the fact that I was an anti feminist woman who was also childishly naive. I didn't realize how fucked up it was at the time. This was when I was fresh out of High School. God I was such a mess back then.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
I let men take advantage of me, and they were drawn to the fact that I was an anti feminist woman who was also childishly naive. I didn't realize how fucked up it was at the time. This was when I was fresh out of High School. God I was such a mess back then.
Shit was so different compared to how it is now. I had also just come out as a trans girl around that time, and I thought I was bi around then. In actuality, I just found the attention from men validating, because I was so early in transition that I couldn't see myself as a woman.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Shit was so different compared to how it is now. I had also just come out as a trans girl around that time, and I thought I was bi around then. In actuality, I just found the attention from men validating, because I was so early in transition that I couldn't see myself as a woman.
I started out in edgy, anti-sjw otaku communities, and Holy christ, pedophilia was so normalized. Hentai and fetish material was quite literally shoved into people's faces, and I never questioned any of it, and never realized how much that impaired my ability to recognize boundaries.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
I started out in edgy, anti-sjw otaku communities, and Holy christ, pedophilia was so normalized. Hentai and fetish material was quite literally shoved into people's faces, and I never questioned any of it, and never realized how much that impaired my ability to recognize boundaries.
the fact that I didn't masturbate until after I turned 18. All of those anti porn, nofap nutjobs thinks that shit keeps you pure yet I'm proof of the exact opposite. I was very sheltered. And then I found the internet, and went straight into the deep end.
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
the fact that I didn't masturbate until after I turned 18. All of those anti porn, nofap nutjobs thinks that shit keeps you pure yet I'm proof of the exact opposite. I was very sheltered. And then I found the internet, and went straight into the deep end.
I've thought about just how it is that I was introduced to the internet. As a teenager, I was strangely puritanical... the realization that I was a fucking puriteen before it was cool... actually that makes the possibility of CSA even more likely. You think maybe there was something fucked up about
November 11, 2025 at 9:28 AM
I've thought about just how it is that I was introduced to the internet. As a teenager, I was strangely puritanical... the realization that I was a fucking puriteen before it was cool... actually that makes the possibility of CSA even more likely. You think maybe there was something fucked up about