You can do this... We believe in you, and it's all up to you. Anxiety and fear are horrendous feelings... But talking it out to others can really help :3

It's at your pace... And you can do this ^.=.^ just believe in yourself, because others already believe in you, us included :3

You have control over the change. We want you to be happy. We know quite a few trans people who have gone through it and have been a lot happier. We can put you in contact with them as well.

The important thing to know, is... You're not alone. Many have struggled with this and gotten through it.

There may be a long list as to why not, and a lot of it is made with fear. However... What if it actually does go well? What if you get confident in yourself? What if you get better opportunities? What if the only thing holding you back... Is you?

Like we said... You set the pace. You can say yes.

The best part? You set the pace. Our ex didn't start her transition until mid 2023, and as terrified as she was, we told her we wanted to see her happy. She started gaining confidence by starting. She's a changed person now, unapologetically herself. It can be done. It's not easy but it can be done.

The point is, no matter how you feel about your creativity, your gender, any of it... You are who you are. You have the power to manifest what you want your life to become. That doesn't mean it will be easy, but it does show you that you can actually make it happen. It's terrifying, but it's there.

As for the dysphoria, we were a LOT more affected by that while in college, but in the direction of our draconity. Our ex spouse went through her changes, and even got her bottom consultation today. There's literally nothing like that for us. We have to figure out how to make it bearable.

We are the only one with a job in the apartment right now. We don't have anyone to fall back on to help us, even though the bfs do. One has his mother and extended family, the other has his father. Our immediate family is poor, and we feel shame in even asking a little money from anyone.

Some would think we have it all. We have a stable poly relationship, we're somehow all staying in a really nice apartment and not even spending as much as it should cost for it. Yet, we hate our retail job, we can't work up the courage or energy to talk to any friends, and we can't stop working.

You wanted to get it out there because you're frustrated with everything. And that is OK. We also suck at a lot of things. We're supposed to be happier, and yet we can't help but fall apart because we want all the friends we had more than a decade ago. We were left behind because stress hurt us.

The best part is what happens in between the sleeping ^.=.~

Would love to just sleep on you <3

Damn you're hot! 🔥