I would rather live next to a Somali immigrant than a MAGA, and it ain't even close.

'Moist' is such a cringy trigger word for many people, but I challenge you to describe a really good cake without it.

I have been charged in a federal indictment sought by the Department of Justice.

This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.

I walked into my teenage son's bedroom yesterday and had an awful fright, seeing a pile of clothes on the floor.

Then I remembered it was a rapture false-alarm.

Believe me, the evangelicals aren't the only ones who are disappointed that it was a rapture false-alarm.

Some personal news:

I've been fired from the Washington Post in the aftermath of the Charlie Kirk shooting.

Thread incoming.

substack.com/@karenattiah...

On a quiet walk in Maine this morning I spied a young deer using its natural camouflage to hide in the underbrush.

Before the Internet, the only widely available public information about someone was their name, address and phone number published in a phone book. And you could call 411 and the operator would provide that info to you.

After the Internet, it is pretty much the only thing you can't easily find.

If every shooting took place on a school property Republicans would declare that there is no crime problem.

This man is a hero.

Never forget that Ukraine agreed to give up their nuclear weapons in exchange for a non-aggression pledge from Russia.

Putin will ignore any terms requiring him to cease the takeover of Ukraine.

@alyankovic.bsky.social Hey Weird Al, can you do a version of Three Days Grace's 'The Animal I Have Become' except just change "the darkest side" to "the duck inside"?

Thanks man.

I've discovered a new way to quickly reach my target heart rate. It's called the Friday morning trash-dash!

It also greatly entertains the sanitary collection guys!

A New York State appeals court rejected a request by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox Corporation to dismiss part of a $2.7 billion defamation lawsuit stemming from the broadcasting of misinformation around the 2020 presidential election.

The new Donald Trump toilet paper is out and has been met with mixed reviews. It is predictably weak and characteristically abrasive. However, it is the only toilet paper that looks better after you've used it.