I’m Allergic to small talk

In the gym half naked smelling like pussy today

Sometimes I am in the boardroom speaking to the boss on holiday, other times I am on holiday hiding in the bedroom as a different boss speaks to a different boardroom

I masturbate to the memories of men trying to lift the same or more than me in the gym and failing miserably

I want to settle down with a straight man who wants to date a gay man

I can’t be the only person whose pubes are pulled out by the leg press? Surely?

I would KILL someone for a bath right now