not for who i am as a man, or for what is perceived to be a man.

i can’t remember the last time somebody said i looked pretty that day, or that i was having a good hair day. i’ve never been bought flowers, only been asked if somebody could in a hypothetical manner. i’m just sorta sick of it all. i hope one day im given some form of unconditional love, as a woman.

it’s been so incredibly disheartening because in many regards i don’t think many know what i mean by any of this. being seen as a “boy who plans on transitioning” by so many close people and not for what i am, and to never be given respect in the moment in regard towards who i feel am.

of my being and others actions to be based off that, and not the thing i am actively trying to break away from. i want to be seen as an actual woman, to be given flowers and not to be asked. to not be questioned or perceived as a boy, even when the knowledge of my trans history is there.

I’ve had so many people treat me as a boy who plans on transitioning, as just a boy, i’ve been treated as a fetish, I’ve had people ask me if they would be allowed to treat me more akin to a woman. while the thought is obviously nice, i don’t want the question. i just want the recognition

so in some capacity, my disappointment lies within myself. one day i hope to be truly seen as a woman and and be truly respected on that front and given the proper consideration and treatment based on that front. bc to be blunt i have yet to feel that. one day, that’s the hope

no matter what, i will never be seen or treated how i wish fully, which is disappointing, but im more disappointed at how ive seemingly not been treated how i wish to be treated in multiple facets in my own circles and spheres. in some regard, that is nothing but my own fault

legitimately the state of world along with my personal state of the world and lack of motivators and potency of personal insecurities, i’m losing a little hope everyday. focusing on myself and ensuring i’m more in line with how i want to be viewed will only encourage me so much

yupppp

you spammed bubble butt when we played