Reporting live from the People’s Republic of Alexandria, Virginia: we’ve got got some whites utilizing a community basketball court with their U13 jump shots. If that’s not DEI, I don’t know what is #proud

I like drinking seltzer water so fast that it feels like I’m gonna explode

We gotta stop letting dudes practice their handstands at the gym

The best part of living with your parents during grad school is the multigenerational distaste for Katy Perry dating Justin Trudeau.

Guys I really don’t like it when I agree with MTG

I am SICK of seeing people doing CrossFit outside on our city streets. If you must do it, fine. But I don’t wanna see.

Doctors actually say you can wear your makeup to bed once a month and that it’s actually good for you. Seals all the juices in.

Petition to get Maroon 5 to tour but just with “Songs About Jane”. And Adam Levine as a hologram.

“When you’re ready come and get it” - Selena Gomez and JB Pritzker

Pam Bondi’s behavior at the senate hearings isn’t surprising to me. Some of y’all just haven’t been in the back of an almond mom’s Tahoe in 2007 after losing a soccer games to girls that were skinnier than you.

Hockey players have better media training than the people in this administration.