Whenever I hold the door open for people it seems like a great idea but then one person becomes 3 adults, 5 kids, 7 aliens, and the stampede that killed Mufasa.

Me opening up bluesky this morning.

Ah bluesky.... Where I can read or post over 600 posts a day but like Twitter no one sees them or engages with them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To all the dads who went out for a pack of cigarettes or a gallon of milk and actually came back, happy fathers day

Choking on your own spit is so humiliating because people will see me gasping and go "oh my god are you okay???" and you have to be like "yeah, I just fucked up being alive real bad for a second there"

We dads tell cheesy jokes not because humor gets worse with age, but because the more life experience you have, the more value you place on anything that might make someone laugh, even if it’s at your own expense.

I don't know who needs to hear this but....The past is a place you learn from, not the place you should live. If you continuously look behind you, you'll miss the good things that will come at you.