You will never be a pizza wizard! She yelled as I set the oven to 500°. My dough wasn't wet enough and I knew I failed her, but I trudged on with my halibut and french fry experiment.

The lost hope of a sock puppet only grows when faced with a fish in a percolator. Plastic sheets and lucid dreams of saw mills only become real, with a damn fine cup of coffee.

Small frogs marched into my mind on to speak in a low dulcet tone, "you will never be a pizza wizard." They then sauntered off dancing like chest burst alien in Spaceballs. The frogs were better dancers.

A daft man with a fart in his hand offended a fan when their only ask was to shake hands

The wind moved west while the childless wombat hurled insults and a one eyed crow. The earth stood still for a moment, in awe of the absurdity of a marsupial with a mouth so foul.

The cat says meow while the sun rises from the east and the moon barks at the petaflop of detritus leaking from my left eye.