Pinned
Extreme sports at my age include avoiding sneezing while I administer eyedrops and tripping over the cats.
December 29, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Extreme sports at my age include avoiding sneezing while I administer eyedrops and tripping over the cats.
December 27, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Sending a 1099 form to everyone who was in my business this year.
December 20, 2025 at 7:13 AM
Sending a 1099 form to everyone who was in my business this year.
If anyone pushes for your address for holiday cards, just tell them you prefer digital versus physical for the environment. ✨️
You don't owe anyone your details. 🤍
You don't owe anyone your details. 🤍
December 19, 2025 at 8:21 PM
If anyone pushes for your address for holiday cards, just tell them you prefer digital versus physical for the environment. ✨️
You don't owe anyone your details. 🤍
You don't owe anyone your details. 🤍
I've been lying to my cat for years. Everything she says "meow", I reply "I know!".
But I don't... not sure how to break the news to her now.
But I don't... not sure how to break the news to her now.
December 19, 2025 at 7:52 AM
I've been lying to my cat for years. Everything she says "meow", I reply "I know!".
But I don't... not sure how to break the news to her now.
But I don't... not sure how to break the news to her now.
May I compare thee to a summers day, it's every f*ckin' DAY with you.
December 17, 2025 at 1:55 AM
May I compare thee to a summers day, it's every f*ckin' DAY with you.
Sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you a moron.
I thought you already knew.
I thought you already knew.
November 18, 2025 at 7:41 AM
Sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you a moron.
I thought you already knew.
I thought you already knew.
Blessed Samhain and Happy All Hallow's Eve 🎃 👻 🖤
November 1, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Blessed Samhain and Happy All Hallow's Eve 🎃 👻 🖤
It's time like this I'm thankful my medical doctors recommend vaccines ✨️
October 18, 2025 at 12:53 AM
It's time like this I'm thankful my medical doctors recommend vaccines ✨️
Had to both properly pronounce and explain the use of my prescription medications to the intake staff at my doctor's office. It's going to be that kind of day.
October 17, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Had to both properly pronounce and explain the use of my prescription medications to the intake staff at my doctor's office. It's going to be that kind of day.
Monster: The Ed Gein Story was phenomenal. Now, bring back Mindhunter 💀
October 9, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Monster: The Ed Gein Story was phenomenal. Now, bring back Mindhunter 💀
An evening of Mel Brooks films is the epitome of self-care.
October 9, 2025 at 4:44 AM
An evening of Mel Brooks films is the epitome of self-care.
Cardio to compete in the Zombie Olympics. 💪
October 9, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Cardio to compete in the Zombie Olympics. 💪
My public service today involved screaming at full volume at the scam caller.
October 4, 2025 at 11:34 PM
My public service today involved screaming at full volume at the scam caller.
My version of speedballing is espresso and diphenhydramine.
August 9, 2025 at 11:01 PM
My version of speedballing is espresso and diphenhydramine.
We need more urban skate parks ✨️
August 2, 2025 at 11:57 PM
We need more urban skate parks ✨️
If you wouldn't go to someone for their advice, why would you take their criticism? ✨️
July 31, 2025 at 7:02 PM
If you wouldn't go to someone for their advice, why would you take their criticism? ✨️
Just another Monday boycotting Target ✨️
July 28, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Just another Monday boycotting Target ✨️
Reposted by Mau 💀🖤
Insomnia thoughts:
As I glance at the couches of my usual nesting grounds, I notice the various blankets slowly invading. I have brought these items of comfort into my home willingly: a nod to the enemy's cunning. The impulse to welcome in more will surely be my demise.
But damn, will I be comfy.
As I glance at the couches of my usual nesting grounds, I notice the various blankets slowly invading. I have brought these items of comfort into my home willingly: a nod to the enemy's cunning. The impulse to welcome in more will surely be my demise.
But damn, will I be comfy.
May 22, 2025 at 7:31 AM
Insomnia thoughts:
As I glance at the couches of my usual nesting grounds, I notice the various blankets slowly invading. I have brought these items of comfort into my home willingly: a nod to the enemy's cunning. The impulse to welcome in more will surely be my demise.
But damn, will I be comfy.
As I glance at the couches of my usual nesting grounds, I notice the various blankets slowly invading. I have brought these items of comfort into my home willingly: a nod to the enemy's cunning. The impulse to welcome in more will surely be my demise.
But damn, will I be comfy.
Reposted by Mau 💀🖤
On this day in 1997, we first met Mr. Sparkle.
April 28, 2025 at 1:19 AM
On this day in 1997, we first met Mr. Sparkle.
Mood: French Goth music. 🖤🎶
🎶 Potochkine 🤍
Drop recs plz 👇
🎶 Potochkine 🤍
Drop recs plz 👇
April 20, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Mood: French Goth music. 🖤🎶
🎶 Potochkine 🤍
Drop recs plz 👇
🎶 Potochkine 🤍
Drop recs plz 👇
2019 was 6 years ago and now I have to go lie down ☠️
April 14, 2025 at 2:33 AM
2019 was 6 years ago and now I have to go lie down ☠️
Now accepting applications to be the mysterious gothic mistress in the background of your funeral. 🖤✨️
April 14, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Now accepting applications to be the mysterious gothic mistress in the background of your funeral. 🖤✨️