Mal
@kfringe.bsky.social
I promised my daughter that I wouldn't embarrass her by posting.
She said, "Good. Now let's work on your talking."
She said, "Good. Now let's work on your talking."
My kid got herself a tape deck. That means old-school cassettes in the sock.
December 5, 2025 at 5:26 AM
My kid got herself a tape deck. That means old-school cassettes in the sock.
It flies under the radar, but Ronin is also Christmas movie.
November 24, 2025 at 9:15 AM
It flies under the radar, but Ronin is also Christmas movie.
"I don't know what to do with my hands."
My brother in Christ, that's what cigarettes are for.
My brother in Christ, that's what cigarettes are for.
November 21, 2025 at 8:24 PM
"I don't know what to do with my hands."
My brother in Christ, that's what cigarettes are for.
My brother in Christ, that's what cigarettes are for.
That's just a Nintendo. You can call it "the Nintendo."
November 20, 2025 at 3:19 PM
That's just a Nintendo. You can call it "the Nintendo."
Well... It's only to be expected. You know how we Catholics are about birth control.
November 14, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Well... It's only to be expected. You know how we Catholics are about birth control.
True. Today's politics will bring in a lot of business.
November 10, 2025 at 7:58 AM
True. Today's politics will bring in a lot of business.
This is one of those nights that honestly makes me miss the ability to have a drink while carefully stoking the fire of a lifelong grudge.
We were always going to lose. We didn't have to lose by rolling over.
We were always going to lose. We didn't have to lose by rolling over.
November 10, 2025 at 4:31 AM
This is one of those nights that honestly makes me miss the ability to have a drink while carefully stoking the fire of a lifelong grudge.
We were always going to lose. We didn't have to lose by rolling over.
We were always going to lose. We didn't have to lose by rolling over.
In my younger days, I used to have to shave three times a day to stay presentable at jobs that also tick the boxes, and the idea that I have some sort of claim to masculinity beyond "I really hate paying for shaving cream" is insane. Just infantile shit.
November 9, 2025 at 10:46 PM
In my younger days, I used to have to shave three times a day to stay presentable at jobs that also tick the boxes, and the idea that I have some sort of claim to masculinity beyond "I really hate paying for shaving cream" is insane. Just infantile shit.
Shocking plot twist: You were the real monster all along.
November 8, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Shocking plot twist: You were the real monster all along.
Well... Yeah... You don't live in NYC. That makes you just like the rest of Cuomo's base.
October 22, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Well... Yeah... You don't live in NYC. That makes you just like the rest of Cuomo's base.
The Universe: "Platner has a dog named 'Zevon.'"
Me: "Wooo! I like this guy!"
The Universe: "Say, have you heard of the duck who worked for Blackwater and had a Nazi tattoo and sang shirtless at weddings and liked milkshakes?"
Me: "Go, Mills!"
Me: "Wooo! I like this guy!"
The Universe: "Say, have you heard of the duck who worked for Blackwater and had a Nazi tattoo and sang shirtless at weddings and liked milkshakes?"
Me: "Go, Mills!"
October 21, 2025 at 5:12 PM
The Universe: "Platner has a dog named 'Zevon.'"
Me: "Wooo! I like this guy!"
The Universe: "Say, have you heard of the duck who worked for Blackwater and had a Nazi tattoo and sang shirtless at weddings and liked milkshakes?"
Me: "Go, Mills!"
Me: "Wooo! I like this guy!"
The Universe: "Say, have you heard of the duck who worked for Blackwater and had a Nazi tattoo and sang shirtless at weddings and liked milkshakes?"
Me: "Go, Mills!"
Are you kidding? Not only did they crank it, but there was a subset of them *who cranked it to the statues' feet*.
October 21, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Are you kidding? Not only did they crank it, but there was a subset of them *who cranked it to the statues' feet*.
Please save a few for the young orcas. They need to learn.
October 13, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Please save a few for the young orcas. They need to learn.
Do not even joke about this. I still mourn the day I ran out of old-school Flairs with the properly-ridged barrel. I didn't *have to care* about pens before that. The problem was *solved*.
October 12, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Do not even joke about this. I still mourn the day I ran out of old-school Flairs with the properly-ridged barrel. I didn't *have to care* about pens before that. The problem was *solved*.
Maybe they just don't appreciate the potato disrespect, Shiv.
October 11, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Maybe they just don't appreciate the potato disrespect, Shiv.
Statistically, 85% of Bob Dylan superfans are old enough that they can't name the days of the week.
October 9, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Statistically, 85% of Bob Dylan superfans are old enough that they can't name the days of the week.
I like to think of it as "triumphantly avoiding an emotional collapse."
I've promised myself that's what I'll call it if I ever manage the feat.
I've promised myself that's what I'll call it if I ever manage the feat.
October 1, 2025 at 7:01 AM
I like to think of it as "triumphantly avoiding an emotional collapse."
I've promised myself that's what I'll call it if I ever manage the feat.
I've promised myself that's what I'll call it if I ever manage the feat.
[standing in line for judgment]
"Just a quick prescreening, Jesse. It says here that you never finished your degree?"
"Just a quick prescreening, Jesse. It says here that you never finished your degree?"
September 21, 2025 at 10:31 PM
[standing in line for judgment]
"Just a quick prescreening, Jesse. It says here that you never finished your degree?"
"Just a quick prescreening, Jesse. It says here that you never finished your degree?"
If you sell a few of something, it's expensive. If you sell lots of something, it's cheap.
September 20, 2025 at 9:49 PM
If you sell a few of something, it's expensive. If you sell lots of something, it's cheap.
Okay, but Ice T should say nothing but "Ice T" as his dialog.
September 19, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Okay, but Ice T should say nothing but "Ice T" as his dialog.
Congratulations and sympathies.
September 19, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Congratulations and sympathies.
In fairness, it's consistent with his apparent misreading of Tolkien.
September 16, 2025 at 3:46 AM
In fairness, it's consistent with his apparent misreading of Tolkien.
They're for your family, Jesse.
September 15, 2025 at 6:49 PM
They're for your family, Jesse.
Serious letdown after the first one. Just a completely unacceptable sequel to Death of Stalin. Like Highlander 2 vs Highlander 1 bad.
September 13, 2025 at 8:39 AM
Serious letdown after the first one. Just a completely unacceptable sequel to Death of Stalin. Like Highlander 2 vs Highlander 1 bad.
It's been more than twenty years, and I'm still sore about Carnivale.
September 12, 2025 at 10:54 PM
It's been more than twenty years, and I'm still sore about Carnivale.