*Aerith’s theme plays softly in the background*

She just died? Wow, I didn’t know that. You’re just telling me now for the first time. She lead an amazing life. Last of the Cetra, amazing life. She was an amazing woman, whether you agree with her summoning Holy or not, she was an amazing woman.

I would have thought the *checks notes* former head speechwriter for Barack Obama would at least know how to land a punchline.

The bit also fails because you don't have to strain that hard at all to imagine someone in his position in dem media circles posting something exactly like that with zero irony.