This is the only correct answer, and always was.

There’s nobody coming to help us.

We have to make it so they are incapable of doing anything other than retreat. They have to be made to live in the same kind of fear that they seek to inspire. It’s the only language they understand.

In the 90s I worked as a security guard at a dungeon. I saw guys like Elon in there all the time. Threw a few of them out into the street in their skivvies, too. They were almost always crying.

I don’t actually have to imagine, thanks to the tariffs.

Former pro bartender, current drinks inventor and thrower of very exotic parties featuring said drinks. Not so much a job now as an adventure.

I almost forgot to ask, are you a maker of the mystic libations as well?

Oh, it’s great! I can’t overemphasize how great it is when someone who has killed it as their character in the moment (it’s always spontaneous), and I just wink and toss them one of the coveted golden D20s. The excitement becomes palpable. And they treat them as …precious!

If that is a Mystic Libation, I’d like to think it’s a Bard’s Requiem. A personal fav.

(Btw, the golden D20s are the “inspiration” dice I use at my table. Having a shiny physical token of such a bonus always excites them. I highly recommend this tactic.)

…And this one that I caught by accident that screams, “My god, what have they done?!?”

I’m actually thinking of bringing it on the cruise to provide a Todd-in-abstentia presence. Will take requests from the source as to where to put his likeness.

Bonus mini-Todd… here is a Hamlet-esque one that seemed to work:

The Cap’n is always quick to do us a solid, I figured I’d return the favor.

Agreed. I’ve been following them closely lately and they are basically embodying the rebellious spirit this country was founded on in the first place. Against both their own party’s glaring flaws and the GOP.

All current trends point to “The Left American Ocean” and “The Right American Ocean.” Although to avoid using “left” it might be “The Huge American Ocean”
and “The Even Huger American Ocean.” Or maybe the Trump Ocean and Musk Ocean.

I hate that these jokes don’t read like jokes anymore.

This is both hilarious, and very likely. My friend Subway thinks so, too.

I’ll have you know that many others of your circle messaged me to show support in this darkest of times. Truly, thank you. I’ll have your back, always, just say the word.

Also, I took your wise advice and called the banners - session zero for a new campaign next weekend. Now is the time.

They're both weird, but sometimes you have to be a little weird to stand out. Bands have weird names. I'm much more concerned with how the music sounds. Because if I'm honest, music in general has been pretty unoriginal for the last 25 years. I'd love to hear something new.

AND mine. Again. Thanks a lot. You know being omniscient, omnipotent, and “all good” doesn’t mean you don’t have it in you to be a jerk! Or crazy for that matter.

One of these things is not like the others.

Hey, if any of you kind people have cruised over to my writer site and checked out the sample material, I welcome all questions, comments, and feedback!