Kernasaurus
@kernasaurus.bsky.social
• Blogger • Mental Illness & Arthritis Advocate • Chronic Pain • Writer • Schizoaffective (Bipolar Type) • PTSD • GAD • Hypothyroid • Religious Trauma • Recovering Addict • Osteoarthritis • RA • Recycler • Extra Liberal •
www.adelusionalpredisposition.com
www.adelusionalpredisposition.com
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #episodes #stigma #chronicpain #EMDR #antipsychotics #supplements #SNRI #moodstabilizers #food #nutrition #diet #psychiatrist #healthcare #nutritionist #labwork #guide #eliminationdiet #hallucinations #schizoaffectivedisorder #disability #invisibleillness
#mentalillness #episodes #stigma #chronicpain #EMDR #antipsychotics #supplements #SNRI #moodstabilizers #food #nutrition #diet #psychiatrist #healthcare #nutritionist #labwork #guide #eliminationdiet #hallucinations #schizoaffectivedisorder #disability #invisibleillness
EMDR Work and a Nutritionist Appointment
I’ve been doing EMDR therapy with my one on one therapist for a while now. She’s been having me write down my triggers throughout the weeks. And I’ve noticed that as we go on, I’m getting triggered…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
November 25, 2025 at 12:36 AM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #episode #symptoms #voices #doctors #appointments #procedures #injections #antipsychotics #tardivedyskinesia #inflammation #arthritis #chronicpain #invisibleillness #disability #hallucination
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #episode #symptoms #voices #doctors #appointments #procedures #injections #antipsychotics #tardivedyskinesia #inflammation #arthritis #chronicpain #invisibleillness #disability #hallucination
Voices and Even More Appointments
I had a couple following me the other day. I smelled a thick fog of weed smoke as I was walking Bruce, at the front of the apartment complex. As I smelled it, and Bruce smelled the ground, the coup…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
November 17, 2025 at 9:53 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#disability #invisibleillness #mentalillness #food #nutritionist #hypothyroidism #sugar #mealplanning #hormones #bloodwork #labs #synthroid #sclerotherapy #procedures #oxbile #meat #vegetarian #moodapp #writing #sugarwithdrawal #olfactory #gustatory #hallucinations
#disability #invisibleillness #mentalillness #food #nutritionist #hypothyroidism #sugar #mealplanning #hormones #bloodwork #labs #synthroid #sclerotherapy #procedures #oxbile #meat #vegetarian #moodapp #writing #sugarwithdrawal #olfactory #gustatory #hallucinations
Food and Hallucinations (and More Doctor Appointments)
I keep having weeks so busy that I have no time to write. I keep forgetting to fill out my mood app every day too. Then I have to go back and try to remember what was going on on which day and all …
adelusionalpredisposition.com
November 11, 2025 at 8:32 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalhealth #arthritis #hypothyroidism #TSHlevels #levothyroxine #varicoseveins #sclerotherapy #foam #rheumatoidarthritis #labwork #bloodwork #cortisonekneeinjections #rheumatologists #nutritionist #orthopedic #paindoctor #therapy #EMDR #nightmares #dreams #processing
#mentalhealth #arthritis #hypothyroidism #TSHlevels #levothyroxine #varicoseveins #sclerotherapy #foam #rheumatoidarthritis #labwork #bloodwork #cortisonekneeinjections #rheumatologists #nutritionist #orthopedic #paindoctor #therapy #EMDR #nightmares #dreams #processing
And Even More Doctor Appointments…
I had a lot more doctors appointments this week. I had sclerotherapy done on my left leg on Tuesday this week. One down by my ankle and another in my back calf – both on the left leg. It burn…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
November 3, 2025 at 1:04 AM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #disability #rheumatoidarthritis #arthritis #bonespurs #hurdles #chronicpain #pain #jointstiffness #kneereplacements #bonefusions #bigtoe #ankles #knees #methotrexate #medications #painmanagement #schizoaffectivedisorder #episodes #stigma
#mentalillness #disability #rheumatoidarthritis #arthritis #bonespurs #hurdles #chronicpain #pain #jointstiffness #kneereplacements #bonefusions #bigtoe #ankles #knees #methotrexate #medications #painmanagement #schizoaffectivedisorder #episodes #stigma
The Doctor Said…
I started crying today. Because of stupid facebook and a bunch of other stuff. But I’m telling you, every single time that I try to reach out or comment on someone’s post on facebook, it backfires …
adelusionalpredisposition.com
October 27, 2025 at 8:18 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#EMDR #mentalillness #pain #chronicpain #memoryloss #therapy #mentalhealth #lumbarablation #backpain #knee #arthritis #osteoarthritis #earlyonsetarthritis #voices #hallucinations #trauma #rememberingonlytrauma #disability #PTSD #schizoaffectivedisorder #invisibleillness
#EMDR #mentalillness #pain #chronicpain #memoryloss #therapy #mentalhealth #lumbarablation #backpain #knee #arthritis #osteoarthritis #earlyonsetarthritis #voices #hallucinations #trauma #rememberingonlytrauma #disability #PTSD #schizoaffectivedisorder #invisibleillness
EMDR and Pain and Memory
I’m still in a lot of pain this week. My pain levels have been waking me up at night, every night. It’s quite exhausting. I’ve at least been able to take naps this week. I’m not always able to. But…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
October 20, 2025 at 2:53 AM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #invisibleillness #chronicpain #arthritis #RA #CRP #labwork #therapy #EMDR #selfwork #stigma #osteoarthritis #disability #PTSD #traumawork #somatic #painlevels #hallucinations #episode #psychosis #nightmares
#mentalillness #invisibleillness #chronicpain #arthritis #RA #CRP #labwork #therapy #EMDR #selfwork #stigma #osteoarthritis #disability #PTSD #traumawork #somatic #painlevels #hallucinations #episode #psychosis #nightmares
Psychosis, EMDR, and Pain Levels
The other day I was walking Bruce and I had a big visual hallucination. It was like the world was suddenly zooming out. I was looking down the sidewalk, and things were getting further away. Like i…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
October 12, 2025 at 4:22 PM
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#mentalillness #mentalhealth #disability #invisibleillness #money #finances #spending #episode #depression #anxiety #frustration
#mentalillness #mentalhealth #disability #invisibleillness #money #finances #spending #episode #depression #anxiety #frustration
Schizoaffective Disorder and Money
It’s been a slow moving week. I suppose that’s a good thing. I’ve been sorta unmotivated lately – unfocused. I can’t help but worry about the future. I’m paranoid about the next steps and wha…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
October 5, 2025 at 4:34 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #veinablations #arthritis #RA #chronicpain #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #EMDR #therapy #CRP #seronegative #medicaltrauma #knees #sclerotherapy #venousinsufficiency
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #veinablations #arthritis #RA #chronicpain #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #EMDR #therapy #CRP #seronegative #medicaltrauma #knees #sclerotherapy #venousinsufficiency
Vein Ablations and Therapy
So, the vein ablations are done. Thank goodness. The photo with this entry shows just how drastic of a difference the procedures have made. It’s amazing. I mean, I knew my feet and legs were discol…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
September 28, 2025 at 6:27 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #CPTSD #PTSD #schizoaffective #bipolar #MDD #BPD #ADHD #psychosis #episode #anosognosia #hyperhidrosis #EMDR #therapy #denial #chronicpain #arthritis #veinablation #disability #invisibleillness #handicapable
#mentalillness #CPTSD #PTSD #schizoaffective #bipolar #MDD #BPD #ADHD #psychosis #episode #anosognosia #hyperhidrosis #EMDR #therapy #denial #chronicpain #arthritis #veinablation #disability #invisibleillness #handicapable
Trauma, Pain Levels, and ADHD
I woke up in incredible amounts of pain on Wednesday this week. Incredible. I could barely fucking move. When I finally did, I had to move very, very slowly. Even on my morning walk with Bruce that…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
September 20, 2025 at 5:34 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #ptsd #cptsd #anxiety #trauma #childhood #bullying #medical #teachers #handicapable #disability #emdr #therapy #fight #flight #freeze #fawn #recovery #invisibleillness #chronicpain #chronichealthproblems
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #ptsd #cptsd #anxiety #trauma #childhood #bullying #medical #teachers #handicapable #disability #emdr #therapy #fight #flight #freeze #fawn #recovery #invisibleillness #chronicpain #chronichealthproblems
C•PTSD and Trauma (Medical and Authoritative)
I’m 99.9% sure of my PTSD is actually C•PTSD. I’ve never really given it much thought until this last weekend. I mean, I have, but I haven’t put that much thought into it. I guess I never rea…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
September 13, 2025 at 3:35 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #anxiety #paranoia #fear #PTSD #fire #firefighter #forestfire #water #coolwater #EMDR #therapy #flashback #mentalhealth #handicapable #disability #invisibleillness
#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #anxiety #paranoia #fear #PTSD #fire #firefighter #forestfire #water #coolwater #EMDR #therapy #flashback #mentalhealth #handicapable #disability #invisibleillness
The Time I Started A Forest Fire
I had a good therapy session this week. My therapist has just gotten her EMDR certification a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago now. And she’s using me as a guinea pig – which I love. We worke…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
September 6, 2025 at 5:21 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #anesthetics #veinablation #therapy #psychologist #healthcare #medications #medmanagement #cleaning #schizoaffective #bipolar #depression #anxiety #exhaustion #frustration #dog #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #chronicpain #venousinsufficiencies
#mentalillness #anesthetics #veinablation #therapy #psychologist #healthcare #medications #medmanagement #cleaning #schizoaffective #bipolar #depression #anxiety #exhaustion #frustration #dog #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #chronicpain #venousinsufficiencies
Anesthetics Frustrations But Then a Surprisingly Good Visit With My Psych NP
I’m angry this week. Frustrated is maybe a better word. I know it’s from the anesthetics last week. I know it is. It’s always like this. After every procedure. I really wish it wasn’t like this tho…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
September 1, 2025 at 4:38 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#veinablation #chronicpain #disability #invisibleillness #mentalillness #schizoaffective #bipolar #friends #dating #hallucinations #voices #antipsychotics #shame #grief
#veinablation #chronicpain #disability #invisibleillness #mentalillness #schizoaffective #bipolar #friends #dating #hallucinations #voices #antipsychotics #shame #grief
Being Social With Schizoaffective Disorder
I don’t know why I can’t just go out and about and be happy that someone wants to spend time with me. Oh wait, I do know why, it’s the voices. They’re always fucking shit up. Everytime I’m away fro…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
August 24, 2025 at 3:59 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #invisibleillness #schizoaffective #bipolar #anxiety #capacity #friendship #schizophrenia #freeze #validation #communication #brunch #hallucination #depression #understanding #expectation #resentment #handicapable #relationship #stigma #disability
#mentalillness #invisibleillness #schizoaffective #bipolar #anxiety #capacity #friendship #schizophrenia #freeze #validation #communication #brunch #hallucination #depression #understanding #expectation #resentment #handicapable #relationship #stigma #disability
Capacity
I was having a brunch date with someone Saturday (it went really well!) and he reminded me that people only have so much capacity to deal with things, or to be there for others. Whatever things tho…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
August 17, 2025 at 6:27 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #hallucination #cymbalta #bugs #infestation #carproblems #crying #emotional #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #depression #anxiety #exterminator #sideeffect #quitsmoking #oneyear #vices #antidepressants #disability #invisibleillness
#mentalillness #hallucination #cymbalta #bugs #infestation #carproblems #crying #emotional #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #depression #anxiety #exterminator #sideeffect #quitsmoking #oneyear #vices #antidepressants #disability #invisibleillness
The Bug Situation and Being Emotional
This is how my week started… It’s Monday, and I have been so incredibly, unbearably anxious and paranoid lately. Like, crying at least several times every single day, for the past several weeks. An…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
August 9, 2025 at 2:30 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#change #growth #mentalillness #disability #invisibleillness #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #depression #episode #stigma #psychosis #diagnosis #EMDR #therapy #friendship #loss #grief #shame #selfharm #ideations #cope #process #emote #feelings
#change #growth #mentalillness #disability #invisibleillness #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #depression #episode #stigma #psychosis #diagnosis #EMDR #therapy #friendship #loss #grief #shame #selfharm #ideations #cope #process #emote #feelings
I’m Not Who I Once Was
I used to freak the fuck out. Over react to everything. Screaming. Yelling. Texting people nonstop about my random issues and problems. I answered the phone today when I shouldn’t have. I was frust…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
August 2, 2025 at 2:26 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #misdiagnosed #missingthesigns #moodtracker #mania #psychosis #symptoms #addiction #episode #depression #antipsychotics #therapy #psychologist #healthcare #diagnosis #group #realization #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness
#schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #misdiagnosed #missingthesigns #moodtracker #mania #psychosis #symptoms #addiction #episode #depression #antipsychotics #therapy #psychologist #healthcare #diagnosis #group #realization #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness
I Don’t Think I’m Bipolar, And I’m Mindblown
Again, I’m going to talk about my last psychotic episode. The one I had that ended last week, er, the week before, now. It lasted longer than I thought. Well, it started further back than I origina…
adelusionalpredisposition.com
July 27, 2025 at 4:19 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#veinablation #venousinsufficiency #chronicpain #inflammation #lumbarablation #procedures #pinchednerves #L4L5 #GSV #SSV #arthritis #disability #recovery #walking #kneepain #MTPjointarthritis #varicoseveins #vein #anklearthritis
#veinablation #venousinsufficiency #chronicpain #inflammation #lumbarablation #procedures #pinchednerves #L4L5 #GSV #SSV #arthritis #disability #recovery #walking #kneepain #MTPjointarthritis #varicoseveins #vein #anklearthritis
After The Second Procedure
So, I had my latest procedure, a vein ablation this last week, last Tuesday. They did the other GSV, in my right leg this time. And at the follow up ultrasound appointment last Friday, a week ago, …
adelusionalpredisposition.com
July 26, 2025 at 1:25 AM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#mentalillness #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #bipolar #mania #psychosis #episode #anxiety #hallucinations #difference #stigma #negative #symptoms #confusion #distressing #missingtime #antipsychotic #recklessspending
#mentalillness #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #bipolar #mania #psychosis #episode #anxiety #hallucinations #difference #stigma #negative #symptoms #confusion #distressing #missingtime #antipsychotic #recklessspending
The Difference Between A Manic and A Psychotic Episode
I realized that I trailed off in the middle of my last entry. I started talking about how I got triggered and just sort of ended the entry after that, ha! Sorry y’all! So, now I want to pick …
adelusionalpredisposition.com
July 24, 2025 at 3:25 PM
#adelusionalpredisposition
#disability #invisibleillness #mentalillness #psychosis #episode #delusions #hallucinations #paranoia #disorganizedthinking #chaoticthoughts #anger #reframing #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #bipolar #trauma #PTSD #triggered #unaware
#disability #invisibleillness #mentalillness #psychosis #episode #delusions #hallucinations #paranoia #disorganizedthinking #chaoticthoughts #anger #reframing #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #bipolar #trauma #PTSD #triggered #unaware
This Last Episode
Welp, I renewed my domain name and subscription and whatnot with Wordpress today. I’ve been writing at least once a week for this blog since 2022. Part of me says why stop now? Keep bitching …
adelusionalpredisposition.com
July 19, 2025 at 5:03 PM