OfficialRealActualJeffKemper
@kempercommajeff.bsky.social
Personal Service Animal. Do not feed or pet. (He/Him)
The Wrong Trousers
September 8, 2025 at 12:48 PM
The Wrong Trousers
The Unblinking Eye of Divorus
July 20, 2025 at 2:12 PM
The Unblinking Eye of Divorus
Slowly building the ideal Hitcher's timeline. Now we've just got to get Ford to start making the Prefect again.
June 20, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Slowly building the ideal Hitcher's timeline. Now we've just got to get Ford to start making the Prefect again.
The cat is very cute, but you might reconsider the nose ring.
June 15, 2025 at 3:50 AM
The cat is very cute, but you might reconsider the nose ring.
Well, his name isn't John Smart
March 31, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Well, his name isn't John Smart
The ONLY remotely good bit about this would be if Hegseth's brother was also named Pete
#releaseSeason3onDVD
@paramountpictures.bsky.social
#releaseSeason3onDVD
@paramountpictures.bsky.social
March 29, 2025 at 1:46 AM
The ONLY remotely good bit about this would be if Hegseth's brother was also named Pete
#releaseSeason3onDVD
@paramountpictures.bsky.social
#releaseSeason3onDVD
@paramountpictures.bsky.social
From Sir Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's He-Cheat-Uh
March 18, 2025 at 10:29 PM
From Sir Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's He-Cheat-Uh
Did anyone else hear him try to Judge Dredd that $#!+ before he said, "We are the federal law"
February 22, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Did anyone else hear him try to Judge Dredd that $#!+ before he said, "We are the federal law"
Trollapalooza?
Buffoonaroo?
TechBro-chella?
Unmarked White Van's (seriously) Warped Tour?
Buffoonaroo?
TechBro-chella?
Unmarked White Van's (seriously) Warped Tour?
February 21, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Trollapalooza?
Buffoonaroo?
TechBro-chella?
Unmarked White Van's (seriously) Warped Tour?
Buffoonaroo?
TechBro-chella?
Unmarked White Van's (seriously) Warped Tour?
People see this, and they still want to get rid of the N.E.A.
Barbarians.
Barbarians.
February 21, 2025 at 4:11 PM
People see this, and they still want to get rid of the N.E.A.
Barbarians.
Barbarians.
Well both Shrek 2 and Shrek The Third (autocorrect keeps changing "turd" I'm tired of fixing it) are both exactly 93 minutes long so it's not runtime.
February 20, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Well both Shrek 2 and Shrek The Third (autocorrect keeps changing "turd" I'm tired of fixing it) are both exactly 93 minutes long so it's not runtime.
Grossferatu?
More like a pale-trum
More like a pale-trum
February 20, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Grossferatu?
More like a pale-trum
More like a pale-trum
Seriously, where's the big blue ox? Who questions his methods and motivations, but then, season six finale, the ox takes a bullet for him, and they will declare their undying non-Platonic love for each other, and Reacher looks that CGI ox in its eyes and says, with all sincerity, "I got you, Babe."
February 19, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Seriously, where's the big blue ox? Who questions his methods and motivations, but then, season six finale, the ox takes a bullet for him, and they will declare their undying non-Platonic love for each other, and Reacher looks that CGI ox in its eyes and says, with all sincerity, "I got you, Babe."
Unplug it, sure...just don't get it wet...waitwaitwait...
Has he confused magnets with mogwais?
Has anybody heard him say anything about feeding magnets after midnight?
I think this might be another "asylum seekers = asylum patients" thing. I'm starting to think...maybe this guy...isn't.... smart.
Has he confused magnets with mogwais?
Has anybody heard him say anything about feeding magnets after midnight?
I think this might be another "asylum seekers = asylum patients" thing. I'm starting to think...maybe this guy...isn't.... smart.
February 19, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Unplug it, sure...just don't get it wet...waitwaitwait...
Has he confused magnets with mogwais?
Has anybody heard him say anything about feeding magnets after midnight?
I think this might be another "asylum seekers = asylum patients" thing. I'm starting to think...maybe this guy...isn't.... smart.
Has he confused magnets with mogwais?
Has anybody heard him say anything about feeding magnets after midnight?
I think this might be another "asylum seekers = asylum patients" thing. I'm starting to think...maybe this guy...isn't.... smart.
🎼Plaaayin'
Playin' with the boys
And a dog of indeterminate gender
Playin' with the boys
And a dog of indeterminate gender
February 19, 2025 at 3:02 AM
🎼Plaaayin'
Playin' with the boys
And a dog of indeterminate gender
Playin' with the boys
And a dog of indeterminate gender
It's available on Audible
February 18, 2025 at 11:55 PM
It's available on Audible
Shoulda put that bandit hat on.
February 18, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Shoulda put that bandit hat on.
What is this? Some new kind of quidditch for rich boys?
February 15, 2025 at 7:45 PM
What is this? Some new kind of quidditch for rich boys?
Hopefully he'll do something about everybody's asma. No need for selfishness during a health crisis, Mr. Boat
February 13, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Hopefully he'll do something about everybody's asma. No need for selfishness during a health crisis, Mr. Boat
Brown butter massively improves the flavor of any cookie/rice krispie treat you put it in and is totally worth the minimal effort
February 13, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Brown butter massively improves the flavor of any cookie/rice krispie treat you put it in and is totally worth the minimal effort
That's interesting about a Safdie brothers connection, what with the only reason that Nicholas Braun played Andy Kaufman in Saturday Night (in addition to playing Jim Henson) is because Benny Safdie, who was supposed to play Andy, had to drop out
February 12, 2025 at 7:50 PM
That's interesting about a Safdie brothers connection, what with the only reason that Nicholas Braun played Andy Kaufman in Saturday Night (in addition to playing Jim Henson) is because Benny Safdie, who was supposed to play Andy, had to drop out
As long as you've paid for it, you and your family can eat the entire contents of one of those Donkey Kong barrels of Utz Cheese Balls at the canteen. It's yours.
February 9, 2025 at 2:04 PM
As long as you've paid for it, you and your family can eat the entire contents of one of those Donkey Kong barrels of Utz Cheese Balls at the canteen. It's yours.
Is that acclaimed golden age of Hollywood character actor Walter Pidgeon? I thought he was dead, but clearly he was just cursed by unimaginative witch
February 7, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Is that acclaimed golden age of Hollywood character actor Walter Pidgeon? I thought he was dead, but clearly he was just cursed by unimaginative witch
Every day he's skrrt skrrt skrrt skt whoosh pock grunt -ing
February 7, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Every day he's skrrt skrrt skrrt skt whoosh pock grunt -ing
If you take the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy.
January 22, 2025 at 3:42 PM
If you take the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy.