N
N
N
N
N
N
(sound of someone sleeping on their side)
N
N
N
N
N
(sound of someone sleeping on their side)
November 20, 2025 at 6:45 PM
N
N
N
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N
N
(sound of someone sleeping on their side)
N
N
N
N
N
(sound of someone sleeping on their side)
Imagine being an unpopped kernel watching your friends burst inside out and eaten from a pile
November 18, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Imagine being an unpopped kernel watching your friends burst inside out and eaten from a pile
I bet it’s funny when the canary just dies of old age and those miners scramble for no reason
November 11, 2025 at 6:16 PM
I bet it’s funny when the canary just dies of old age and those miners scramble for no reason
I often leave sit-down restaurants realizing the tip I left would’ve bought a meal somewhere else I rather would’ve eaten
November 6, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I often leave sit-down restaurants realizing the tip I left would’ve bought a meal somewhere else I rather would’ve eaten
Imagine how insane the world would be if all animals knew how to throw stuff
October 30, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Imagine how insane the world would be if all animals knew how to throw stuff
I like lazy people because they don’t practice the saxophone three hours a day across from my bedroom window
October 21, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I like lazy people because they don’t practice the saxophone three hours a day across from my bedroom window
Recycling is paper or plastic or anything at all if my trash can is full
October 21, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Recycling is paper or plastic or anything at all if my trash can is full
You never know how many useless things you know until you train someone at work
October 16, 2025 at 5:19 PM
You never know how many useless things you know until you train someone at work
The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while in line at the bank
October 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while in line at the bank
I always have the words "Just Married" on my car so no matter how I'm driving I assume every honk is congratulatory
September 25, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I always have the words "Just Married" on my car so no matter how I'm driving I assume every honk is congratulatory
Confidence is sitting in the middle seat of a plane but still controlling the window shade
September 20, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Confidence is sitting in the middle seat of a plane but still controlling the window shade
Shows coming up in Santa Cruz, Salt Lake, San Francisco, Phoenix Albuquerque and more, KellenErskine.com for tix
September 17, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Shows coming up in Santa Cruz, Salt Lake, San Francisco, Phoenix Albuquerque and more, KellenErskine.com for tix
“PLEASE NO GREEN GLOW STICKS”
-Superman inviting people to a rave
-Superman inviting people to a rave
September 16, 2025 at 5:50 PM
“PLEASE NO GREEN GLOW STICKS”
-Superman inviting people to a rave
-Superman inviting people to a rave
You each know who you are…
Shows coming up in UT, CA, AZ, NM kellenerskine.com
Shows coming up in UT, CA, AZ, NM kellenerskine.com
September 16, 2025 at 1:18 AM
You each know who you are…
Shows coming up in UT, CA, AZ, NM kellenerskine.com
Shows coming up in UT, CA, AZ, NM kellenerskine.com
I order ginger ale on planes like they don’t sell it anywhere else
September 12, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I order ginger ale on planes like they don’t sell it anywhere else