there is simply no better city to stumble home piss drunk in than chicago. she always waits until you’ve had four too many lemon drop martinis (and three too many rum+pineapples) at a work event to show you the most beautiful summer day of your entire life.

just watched the episode of mad men where RFK gets shot. boyfriend asked “who shot him?” “why?” “what’s MKUltra?”

Reddit keeps recommending this red scare sub and I swear to god it just recommended a post picturing my former therapist 🙃

I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING (ok, most things) IVE SAID ABOUT LINKEDIN

sent a recruiter a LinkedIn message, if anyone was wondering how my deep spiritual sickness was progressing

very alarming to see the median holocaust denier profile go from a neonazi prison gang member to like…a teenager with a finsta

failed a workplace social situation so hard this morning. have to find a socially acceptable way to tell coworkers not to ask anything of me before 9 AM. “don’t talk to me before I’ve had my adderall” novelty mug, perhaps?

grew to hate twitter so much that I lost my zest for posting in general. not sure what to do here

big mechanic doesn’t want you to know that you can change your own oil

what is this app’s policy on posting hole