My doctor told me jogging would add years to my life. He was right. After only two blocks, I felt ten years older.

According to chemistry, vodka is a solution.

We’ve got your number! Sometimes your puns don’t add up. But that won’t divide us, in fact your fans are multiplying. We derive enjoyment from your puns. They must be integral to your personality.

O U!

You don’t have to split hairs about the details, just tell the joke.

That kind of obsession can be a real Cancer in relationships.

I’d ask you to tell me about it, but that would be second hand information.

Only if there is probable caws.

Would his first officer moonlighting at a Halloween haunted house be Mr. Spook?

They probably got a rocky start.

/not mine, but hope it makes you smile.

North central Yucatán.

Optimist: The cup is half full.

Pessimist: The cup is half empty.

Engineer: The cup has twice the capacity needed. Specify this is required for safety so management won’t claim it’s over budget.