Just beat all the challenges on Balatro. Fuck yes, I'm on cloud 9, a joker which I didn't even need as it turns out

Sharing this post costs you nothing btw. Even if you can't donate, getting more eyes on a good cause still helps

Great couples costume idea: One goes as a leaf blower and the other as a leaf

You heard about the white mage that had to retire? Yeah, they became hard of healing.

If "The Boys" was made 15 years ago, Dane Cook would have played The Deep.

God damn it ain't even November yet and I'm already getting gift ads

Is he called JFK cause people were like "Jesus Fucking Christ" when he got shot in the head?

Blue Eyes, White Dragon, Papa John's

People really say things like "Oh yeah it's a short hike, only 4 hours" fuck off, do you know how much nothing I can get done in that amount of time

It pains me to write that I have come to the conclusion that I am not an independent thinker. I follow the herd like a loyal sheep and swallow the trends that are shoved down my throat and yes I do want to fuck Jamie Lee Curtis like everyone else god damn it

And Alexander wept for there were no more worlds to conquer

If I can be real for a second, apples and oranges seen like reasonable things to compare with one another

A horse with a relatively short face walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Hey, what can I get you?"

Do I know anything about rhetorical questions? Well, does a bear shit in the woods?

*to the tune of she's my cherry pie

He's my anal guy
He cums in my ass and I suck him dry
Dick so big it makes me cry
He's my anal guy

A guy walks into a bar and pulls out his 12 inch penis and says "Man, I'm sure glad genies have great hearing"