I've been painting a pic of Flins at a snail pace but should really set ut the vgen soon,
but I think I should rework my prices again OI< I'd like to take less comms but work on the ones I take more

ahh this is gorgeous

but I got a new job :> It'll start in december, I'll hope I'll handle the new one well, these past few years have been pretty rough mentally

I know it's probably the tism talking, but all this is making me feel so alienated from others and like im becoming invisible
this topic is very hard to talk about since I don't mean to talk about it to blame others, its more like, how to stop yourself from thinking this way

which is wonderuful don't get me wrong, but I do appreciate love even the smallest things, like someone sending you a pic that reminded them of me or a pebble from the road idk haha

I really miss the time years back when we used to draw each other birthday cards, it was such a simple fun way to remember somone,
I'm a gift giver person so thats one part of my love language, so I'm a bit saddened that now that I'm older the only gift giving is like a nice meal with family,

just been thinking about these things for a long time, and it always gets worse whenever my birthday comes, and there's other events where YOU have to decide how to spend it and only end up stressing if you're being a burden on others

like rationally you recognize that you're being a dumbass, but still can't help but crave that someone would see you in the same way as you see others

and it gets so much worse if people don't act like you "wish", like the ideal imagined version you'd wish they'd act because that's the way you do, and when you don't get the same echo of behavior back you start doubting yourself and friendships

WAA JOO!! ᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ

HEHEEE