I see the darkness as a positive in addition to its ability to help us create more light. I don't fear the dark, I learn from it. And, like you, when I'm enduring the darkest night, I let go and find wisdom that comes from that place.

You feel what you feel and that is valid. I feel what I feel and that is valid. I respect what you know.

You may find Dr. Douglas-Klotz book "Revelations of Aramaic Jesus" of interest. It is quite enlightening, and the first book I've read that jibes with my experiences with the Higher Power.

Jesus never said he was God in the ancient Aramaic. In the classes I've taken from Dr. Neil Douglas-Klotz--Jesus shared how we all had the ability to commune directly with the Creator. How we all possess that mystical connection. How we are to love everyone as we are connected to all of Creation.

Also, early versions of the Bible were badly translated due to Constantine's wishes for the Bible to back up his empire, which relied on slaves. Who really knows what Luke's original version was like? Sorry to prattle on. I keep thinking of new things to share.

This is a reason why the Bible sat wrong with me. Also--Luke didn't even know Jesus. What he presented he presented second-hand based on oral traditions. Then he wrote it in Greek which wasn't context-based like Aramaic. Many don't want to hear this.

Understandably, you feel that way. Over the centuries, the Bible has been shaped by rulers, popes and wealthy landowners. When you look at translations from the oldest Aramaic Bibles to English--it's different. I.e., the word used for God in the Lord's Prayer is not masculine. It is gender neutral.

I should've DM'd you! The character count limit is tough. Also, translations of ancient Aramaic are heavily influenced by context. So, having not lived in that time, we can't be sure what the context was.

After that night in the haunted hotel, I shed the fear and unworthiness that I'd carried with me since my Evangelical years and this happened decades after I left that church. I've had mystical experiences since I was a child and that church didn't approve of that even though God gave me this gift.

I went to many Christian denominations as a child. My family wasn't religious, so I went with my friends. In college, I became an Evangelical. That was never a good fit for me. I believe in unconditional love, not a fire and brimstone God.

For me, Jesus has always sung to my heart. I've studied Jesus' teachings translated from his Aramaic directly to English by a PhD linguist (Dr. Neil Douglas-Klotz). They are very mystical translations. No one can definitively know for sure what Jesus meant, since it wasn't immediately written down.