The security duty manager had already told me (I got in touch in advance!) I wouldn't have to remove them before scanners. Told me that if necessary, after a body scan, I'd be provided a place to sit down for the braces to be manually checked.

Nah. Got talked over and treated like shit.

They spoke an African dialect of Portuguese, I spoke messy book-taugut Brazilian Portuguese. I'm not an interpreter, or even properly fluent, but it was good enough to get them through the day.

Hopefully they found someone. Hopefully those two days showed their admin they needed proper support.

It was turning down jobs like that which was most heartbreaking when I was on supply eons ago. The "even just being here for a couple days has made a substantial difference, please stay" jobs. I hope they found another Portuguese speaker for those kids. I hope they accessed good ESL support.

I just want to time skip to that phone call where they tell me to come in and get it sliced off. Just get it sorted. Not a fan of waiting, even though I know it is should only be a couple weeks at most.

But people worry, and they feed me the worry. "But what if it's worse than that? It's on top of a lymph node, what if it spread there?"

Then I'll probably get some scans, get that node removed, and maybe some added treatment. But, it's unlikely. It's so small, so early, it's unlikely to need that.

It'll probably all be over in a couple weeks.

"Best" case, I get a call that says it's suspicious, get it removed, and it's found to have been non-cancerous/just a wack mole.

"Perfecrly fine" case, the same as above, but it was stage 0-1.

Either way? New scar on my neck. That'll be neat.

But that's just it really. I have all these other health issues, now I've just added "clean and bandage the suspicious mole until it's removed" to the massive list of self maintenance activities I perform each day. It's a drop in the bucket. An unusual drop, a new drop, but just a drop nonetheless.

I think people are scared on my behalf because they hear "melanoma" and "urgently referred for suspected cancer" and get spooked. They know I have all these other health issues, and get spooked. They see the bandage on my neck and get more spooked.

But I don't like the eggshells at work. Obviously I keep management and my immediate team abreast of things (as sudden absences and such impact them, and communication is key), but I've started getting a lot of "Is there anything you need? Do you need any adjustments?" etc etc.

— sending tea/powders/supplements that they read somewhere can "help slow cancer growth".

I think it's a bit funny in a morbid way. This wee little mole. All this fuss over a 5mm wide brown, bloodied smudge. On my neck. Sending me (checks notes) milk thistle tea and vitamin e capsules.

Not to get all "narrative medicine" with it, but I think the reactions and behaviour of other people are more stressful for me than the actual mole situation.

My spouse is out of the country at the moment, so he's understandably anxious. I live very far from any/all bio family, who have started —

Now we're just waiting. Everything's been sent to the melanoma clinic and we just...wait!

Realistically I know there's a good chance it'll be a "cut it out and get it done with" affair if/when I get a call. It's small. I'm young. Odds are it's either a wack benign mole, or a stage 0 or 1 melanoma.

Long story short, suspicious mole on my neck. Bleeds/weeps unprovoked. Keeping it covered 24/7 to prevent myself from damaging it. Ticks all the ABCDE boxes.

Got the dermoscopy done. From what I can tell, it may have a negative pigment network pattern throughout, and is generally suspicious.

I was genuinely over the moon when I went "fucking toe hook the other end, you don't boulder for nothing". Probably wouldn't have finished it without that incredible toe hook execution.