KAMILLE BIDAN
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kamillebidont.bsky.social
KAMILLE BIDAN
@kamillebidont.bsky.social
47 followers 1 following 300 posts
he/him, hockey player, pilot, veteran. AEUG
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kamillebidont.bsky.social
Tang resupp on the Argama
Cup of Tang. Four please call me I've been crying I miss you so much it hurts, I'll do anything for even the slightest chance of you just call me back. I'm on 10m just send the signal and I'll answer. I love you
October 8, 2025 at 3:25 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Just another pretty sight on our way to Hong Kong. I miss Earth sometimes.
Photo of the great salt lake in Utah, former United States. Four, I can't express in words the pain in my heart every time I even think of you... And I think of you every day. I dream of you now. But I also can't express the fullness, the completeness, the sense of being known that I only feel with you. In my dreams, we're together and talking and laughing. I'm learning more about you and telling you about my life. There's no war, it's just soft and cool and peaceful... Like the ocean on a starry clear night in the summer. Like floating. Like being beat up by the waves. It always seems so real its like it happened. Are you trying to tell me something? You always apologize for not calling me. You're always telling me you love me. I love you too. I hope this gets to you. Come by in your dreams some time. I'll meet you there too.
August 18, 2025 at 12:50 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Skewer chicken again.
Chicken, rice, broccoli, light beer, and a clementine. Four I miss you so much it hurts. I've never missed anyone like that. I've never loved anyone like that. You were nicer to me than anyone's been before. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do? Do you have spare time? Do they give you leave? Four if you joined the AEUG you'd get 2 weeks guaranteed a year. We'd find a way to get your memories back. We'd go to the beach together on Earth. We'd go to some fuckoff side we'd never been before. We'd be on dates all 2 weeks just getting to know eachother and stuff. We'd drive around all day and kiss all night. I think you'd like everyone, and I think they'd like you. You're really funny and sweet. I miss you so much. Your kiss was the best kiss I've ever had. I feel like a part of me was torn away. I feel empty without you. The hole where you once were hurts so bad. I know you're out there, somewhere... Please call me back.
July 19, 2025 at 2:15 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Alarm going off to battle station level 1 and I'm waking up from a nap like
Me?
July 7, 2025 at 3:35 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
We lost but they had 16 skaters and we had 8 and trust me when I say it was very competitive. My legs hurt. I skated my heart out tonight.
Shot of my shin pads, shorts, and skates. Four I bet you would fucking love hockey.
July 1, 2025 at 4:39 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Torres what the fuck
Shit on a shingle also known as creamed chipped beef on toast and a note that, for some reason, reDs "Happy 18th Birthday Kam! WE LOVE YOU!". Four, do you see this shit?
June 30, 2025 at 1:52 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Happy Pride from me and Four btw #t4t #pride #transrights #artsandcrafts
Me and Four holding pride flags. Four I would do anything to see you again. Do you miss me? I miss you tremendously. I would give anything to bring you here, to safety, to the AEUG. I would give anything to be together. Do you hear my messages? I'm always sending signal you know, every night I'm on HF bouncing signal to where you might be. I don't care if I give away our position to the Titans, I'd do anything for the slightest chance of you. I hope this finds you well. Please call me back
June 27, 2025 at 5:50 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Rations come plastic wrapped but we still get these bad boys fsr
Pictured: a screwdriver, pry bar, sharp object, or, if you prefer, a can opener. Four I miss you so bad I can't take it anymore. I've never connected with someone like that. Is that crazy? I know I'm crazy but it felt for real. Four I love you.
June 25, 2025 at 1:10 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Picture from my last deployment on Earth.
The beach and the ocean. Four, I miss you so bad it hurts. Can you read this? Please call me
June 24, 2025 at 3:11 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
I remember when I first met Mr. Amuro. I didn't like him at first but he was nice to me. He knew something I would know later. I now know something he once knew. There it is.
Something happened. I left reality for a month. I don't know what the days were or where I was or how to say my name. I knew things I would never know again, saw things I see frequently, and nobody else will see them. I heard my name echo through space, harmonics and noise and problems with the receiver, and repeated back to me by the fascists in my town. And some day later, I'll meet you. So something happened. A life changes in grand sweeps and overwhelming gestures. A mind changes only when forced. What's off track will be broken back into place, whether you want it or not, and that's how you keep the beer flowing. You can deny it all you want but at the end of the night you still get a rank and a pay grade, and orders said to regroup on Earth. Earth is a beautiful sphere of vibrant life and a poison so foul it could kill us all. I took some lives there. The blue mist of the mountains stagger and steal your breath, oceans vast and unknown, unexplored, islands of plastic and teeming with the stuff that makes a spirit. That's where I met you. A life changes in grand sweeps and a war changes decisively. A life can change in a minute. Orders said to rendezvous in orbit, so they shot me out on a rocket, and you were there. If not for you, then my life would feed a million lives and the circle goes on, but that's not what happened. I'm still going, and maybe you are, too. Some pieces are machined with such precision it's as if they were really one all along. You can't teach love or respect. This is how you learn to salute.
June 4, 2025 at 2:14 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Finally wasn't interrupted for dinner, might be going to Earth soon? Idk, might be a rumour...
It's skewer chicken night. That's beer, rice, broccoli, skewer chicken that's a lot juicier than it looks, a clementine, and a carton of milk. I heard a rumour we might be supporting Karaba on Earth soon. Four, that's where I met you. I can't stop shaking thinking about it... Never for a moment since we took off have I stopped thinking about you. You, your name, your voice, your smell, your jokes, how you said you like my name, how you saved our launch... I miss you tremendously. I never stop thinking about you. Are you still out there, on Earth? Can you hear me? I'll never be the same now that we met. Everyone knows something happened to me on Earth. They know I met someone. Four, if only they knew the half of it. I hope I see you again some day. I hope we go to Earth. I hope you call me back.
May 25, 2025 at 12:29 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Electrolytes before lights out
Ice cold cup of electrolyte beverage, lemon lime, sweetened. Four do you remember our date in Hong Kong? The Titans guard caught us and I was so sure it was over... But we had a great time. I feel like I got to know you so much better in that brief time. We have so much in common... I wish we didn't have to fight. I know you're still out there... I can feel it. But man why did the Titans have to get to you? I just wish we could be making more cool memories like that. I wish we could be hanging out and goofing off and stuff. You're so pretty. I wish you would call me.
May 17, 2025 at 2:20 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
There is no better feeling than a guy's chest and lungs compressing as you hammer him against the boards, hearing him gasp, grunt even; but then going for beers after the game and having a good laugh. Hockey is truly the best sport in the world. Four I love you with all my heart. Was that love at first sight? Definitely something more than just that. I miss you so much.
May 8, 2025 at 10:22 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Torres fuck off please
I feel safe when I have my knife. A lot of this is new. I can shoot now, I can shoot the smile off a target and render a situation solved and I can do that and more in a mobile suit, I can do damage, can tear a hole in the colony and let the pressure drop. There's responsibility, there's respect, respect of a weapon, and if you tweak the levels just right a saber becomes a bayonet, and a weapon becomes a new one, and a tactic becomes a victory. Small victories add up to big ones, small justices to a sense of human kindness, and a cup of cold water to a lifeline. Zeon Deikun is quoted saying things will change. We will change. Well, things have changed. My home is war scraps and veterans and the ghosts of combat past. There's calloused hands and new calibres of industrial grease and rounds with casings the size of my head that put a stop to violence, which is violence itself. Things are different now, and I feel safe when I have my knife.
May 8, 2025 at 3:25 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Remember the time the Lieutenant and Mr. Amuro tied the knot? Jesus fucking Christ I can't stand these guys. Haha but honestly I'm glad for them, they seem really happy together.
Wedding tres leches cake with a wedding topper of the time Mr. Amuro and the Lieutenant tried to kill each other in the One Year War. Four can you believe the shit I have to deal with? I bet it's way more normal where you're stationed. Do you have any beef with anyone? What are the rumours on base? Do you pay attention to them? I heard Torres' long distance girlfriend broke up with him. I feel bad but I guess I'm getting scared we'll never meet or talk or kiss again. I miss you so much. I hate to think we'll be apart forever. I don't think we will but I don't know why I know that. Please call me this is torture.
May 7, 2025 at 2:05 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Fuck off it's lasagna night on the Argama
Lasagna light beer and buttered bread on a tray. Four if you're reading this let's get dinner together soon. I bet we can find a great place in Hong Kong or Granada or anywhere. I bet we'd have fun at McDaniels. I bet we'd have fun anywhere. What do you do for fun? I don't have much free time on board but I love designing stuff. I guess I get that from my parents. I designed the Zeta after all. But I like to play hockey when I can and sometimes I'll hang out with the bridge guys. I miss you. I'll write to you soon.
May 5, 2025 at 10:26 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Sloppy Joe night or whatever. I have tomorrow off if the Titans don't fuck us en route.
Sloppy joes on a tray. The bridge guys convinced me to finally get the mess hall beer so I guess we're doing that tonight. You know, we talk in my dreams sometimes. Four, is that really you? I'm not an esper or anything but there's continuity. We talk about our days and lives and it feels real. I want to talk to you face to face some day soon, with both of us wide awake.
May 1, 2025 at 9:21 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
How many times are we having chicken dinner god damn
Chicken dinner on a tray but at least we have soup this time. Four I heard you went on TDY, I'll go looking for you as soon as I can. The second I get shore leave I'll find you. I'm thinking of you all the time. I never stop. I miss you so much. I cry about it sometimes... Can you believe that? It reminds me that I'm just a kid after all. Try all o want to be a soldier... I'm still just a kid. But that means you are too. Maybe after the fighting's over we can grow up together.
April 28, 2025 at 11:59 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
We're still out of milk cartons til we restock by Granada :-/////
It's teriyaki night. Four everything reminds me of you. I hope you think of me as much as I think of you. You're my everything. And we had such little time together but I feel like I know you. I don't know what I'd do if I never met you. I'd be a different person that's for sure. Do you ever think about that? Do you think about calling me? Have you ever tried? I try every day and I never know if I'll reach you or what. I know it's bad opsec. But I'd do anything for you I'd risk it all for you anything for you to be here. I miss you. Even if j reach a Titans base and give away our coordinates it'd be worth it if I get to speak to you again. Even if the phone line is tapped. I don't even care I'm crazy for you. Can you call me? Can we plan to meet again in Hong Kong? Is there a place we can agree to be every day just in case we cross paths again? Please let me know ... Get through somehow.
April 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Found this old polo among my stuff. Memories I guess. Astonaige was always really supportive.
Embroidered polo: Anaheim Electronics Project Zeta Design Team. Four if you're out there anywhere please find a way to reach me, I'm trying everything to reach you and I'm worried you don't even want to be found. Are you ok? I miss you so much. I want you next to me and I'm so scared without you. The guys don't get it. Everyone is telling me to drop it but they don't know what I shared with you. I love you Four. I'll do anything for you so please call.
April 21, 2025 at 1:31 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
He wouldn't do it restaurant style this time :-(
Chicken and mash with gravy, beer, tomatoes, and probiotic drink. Four please call me. I know you're out there.
April 18, 2025 at 1:32 AM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Here's a better shot
Forearm bruise part 2. Four, can you hear me? I know you're out there. I can sense it... I want you to be happy.
April 17, 2025 at 11:16 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
I did take a slapshot to the arm though
My nasty forearm bruise (?). The puck hit right between my glove and elbow pads right where the padding ended lol. Hopefully not a fracture but I guess I'll find out some other time. Yes it's a huge lump. Four, I would do anything for us to meet again. What more can I say? I don't have a lot of connections but I'm still trying to reach you. I would do anything for you. I might even quit hockey for you. If I could never skate again but we could have more nights together it'd be worth it. I left you an encrypted message. I think it's your number. Please call me back I'm waiting for you
April 17, 2025 at 10:55 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Man what's one more visit to the med bay.
Thumbs up at the med bay. Four, if you hear me, please reach out. I know we have limited channels but I bet you could find a way. I'm on the Argama as always. My coordinates... Uh I'll have to check in with Torres or Saegusa and play it really cool. I'm always thinking of you. I miss you so much. I hope one day we can fix cars together in some far off side and just fuck around all the time. When the fighting's over I mean. I dream of it every day so maybe we'll get there. Maybe the dreams mean something. I love you. Call me back.
April 16, 2025 at 4:58 PM
kamillebidont.bsky.social
Took this on leave in Granada. Still out here climbing shit I guess.
Photo of me. I think I wore this sweater when I left Green Noa for good. Four, I know you dont have memories anymore of your past life. I'm really sorry that happened... I bet the AEUG can get them back so you dont have to fight anymore. We have a lot of connections and our R&D is great. A lot of spacenoids really support what we do. Honestly, I barely remember my life from before I started piloting. I know I was really crazy... I had a lot of problems. Honestly, I still do, but some things are getting better. Things started to make sense eventually. Everything from before feels so far away, like a bad dream. I dont remember much, but I remember running, and feeling so scared, scared for my life. I remember being angry and hurt. I remember seeing things, seeing space or flashes or ghosts. I don't know, it's so distant and terrifying to even recall. I had purpose but it was erong. I felt something calling to me, some grand design i couldn't articulate that put my one foot in front of the other. Next thing I know, everything changed. I wasn't a lot anymore. I had taken a life. I don't know if it's for the better, but I'm fighting a good fight now. I have a sense of purpose. I'm competitive again and I got my drive back. A lot of bad stuff has happened since I left home. I don't have a home to go to anymore but that's okay. Maybe it was all for the best because I met you. Maybe my home is with you. I miss you.
April 16, 2025 at 1:38 AM