Sharing both of these pictures gives me panic. I've only ever shown one of these, and honestly it would be a hella more cleaned up and sanitized.

I hope when my time comes, I will understand that my children may have different viewpoints than I do, and that I too turn over judgement to them because they are the future, and I cannot cling to my past ways and also support their efforts.

God is Authoritarian; Jesus is Libertarian. And God was like, "yeah, his way is better than mine, I will actually let him stand in judgement." (I paraphrased John 5:22)

I now approach Jesus from a different vantage point; I guess I see him as a Bodhisattva more than I do from a Christian viewpoint. He is the son of God in the way we all are. He is the son of God in the way that we all move away from our parents and become our own visions.

I took my questions to the youth pastor, and he actually sat down with me and told me that my questions were very valid, but that I shouldn't get caught up in the doom and gloom of the old testament and focus on Jesus's love.

Today George asked me if Animal Farm still counted as fiction for the reading merit badge.

There were several scouts that identified as conservatives and said they would have voted that way. One of the scouts, "George", was raised military, authoritarian. A very good kid. I enjoy his company and we like talking about our different world views. Of course, he said, he'd vote Republican.

Especially when it comes to people, I want the opportunity to have empathy and see from all different perspectives. Don't close me from an argument.

But lately, it's been hard. I'm not a fan of hate. I really only want to live in love.

When I was in college and hanging out with Frank, I didn't have a tv. I didn't have a phone. I walked to his house by staying on the narrow concrete divider across a bridge that divided the sides of traffic. I would hear the river below me and keep my eyes up.

I want to be like that. I want to connect like that. I want to throw myself into life instead of being distracted all the time.

I am trying right now to at minimum be more present in my community. My husband, my kids, my friends, their kids.

And this is really tough, just with the little bit of distance we have between us. Communities built for capitalism make communism difficult.

I really would like to live in a commune.

I am more than a little resentful at myself that I listened.

I have a house in the suburbs, two kids, a fence and jokingly laugh that I am living a suburban nightmare.