@kaivjohnson.bsky.social
Reading Tolstoy like, this could’ve been an email
December 16, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Reading Tolstoy like, this could’ve been an email
The Doctor peers through my window, patiently me eat the last remaining apple.
December 15, 2025 at 6:27 AM
The Doctor peers through my window, patiently me eat the last remaining apple.
Cheri Cheriest Lady by Postmodern Talking
December 9, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Cheri Cheriest Lady by Postmodern Talking
Why is it called 60 Minutes? They know that’s just 1 Hour, right?
December 6, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Why is it called 60 Minutes? They know that’s just 1 Hour, right?
Hot take: the Great War wasn’t really all that great
December 5, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Hot take: the Great War wasn’t really all that great
Wicked was good. Ariana’s neck sure can act.
December 4, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Wicked was good. Ariana’s neck sure can act.
I could never be a vampire dude, I’d die without garlic bread. I’d also have to stop shooting myself with silver bullets and driving wooden stakes through my heart.
November 20, 2025 at 10:31 PM
I could never be a vampire dude, I’d die without garlic bread. I’d also have to stop shooting myself with silver bullets and driving wooden stakes through my heart.
I’m married to my work. I’m doing insane kinky freak shit to my work.
November 16, 2025 at 4:23 AM
I’m married to my work. I’m doing insane kinky freak shit to my work.
I’m Hawkin on that vaJay til she’s Screamin’
November 14, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I’m Hawkin on that vaJay til she’s Screamin’
This guy is so freaking unpleasant. In fact, if you look up the word unpleasant in the dictionary, there’s literally a definition that describes the way he is.
November 14, 2025 at 3:01 PM
This guy is so freaking unpleasant. In fact, if you look up the word unpleasant in the dictionary, there’s literally a definition that describes the way he is.
When the citation is needed 😈
November 7, 2025 at 3:31 AM
When the citation is needed 😈
Yeah, I’m kind of a guy’s guy. I play video games with my boyfriend.
November 6, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Yeah, I’m kind of a guy’s guy. I play video games with my boyfriend.
My goldfish came out to me as gay, so I flushed him. Not under my roof!
November 6, 2025 at 7:40 AM
My goldfish came out to me as gay, so I flushed him. Not under my roof!
They should breed a dog with an angular, masculine jawline
November 6, 2025 at 7:36 AM
They should breed a dog with an angular, masculine jawline
Politicians who want to seem more relatable should publicly announce when they fail NNN
November 6, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Politicians who want to seem more relatable should publicly announce when they fail NNN
Eating a fun sized snickers, because I’m not quite myself when I’m a little bit hungry
November 2, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Eating a fun sized snickers, because I’m not quite myself when I’m a little bit hungry
When the evil clown devises a sinister puzzle: “It really makes you think”
October 30, 2025 at 3:20 AM
When the evil clown devises a sinister puzzle: “It really makes you think”
Bird is a thing with feathers
October 23, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Bird is a thing with feathers
The safe word has two numbers and a special character, call that protected sex
October 23, 2025 at 1:11 PM
The safe word has two numbers and a special character, call that protected sex
I’m going to create the first antisocial media platform
October 19, 2025 at 8:59 PM
I’m going to create the first antisocial media platform
Me when I’m sent to prison during the Cold War: “I just got booked like a damn Red.”
October 17, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Me when I’m sent to prison during the Cold War: “I just got booked like a damn Red.”
Poly Sci: there is nothing more political than being in a polycule
October 16, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Poly Sci: there is nothing more political than being in a polycule
My rapper name is Cold Case Cracker
October 16, 2025 at 2:46 AM
My rapper name is Cold Case Cracker
I have the strength of two and a half men
October 16, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I have the strength of two and a half men
What if there was a Normal Al who just made regular, honest, everyday music
October 16, 2025 at 2:24 AM
What if there was a Normal Al who just made regular, honest, everyday music