Well today flippin’ sucked.

Haven't laughed so hard at a news alert since we all got Scaramucci'd.

If I get one more news alert about Clarence Thomas getting shady money while he still has a job I'm gonna scream.

Newly filed under Things I Do Not Recommend: Dropping an open container of pie weights on your kitchen floor at 12:30 a.m.

My job now officially includes writing AI prompts and I can't get over how fast that happened.

[deep breath] AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #mugshot

Why is it so hard to buy pants as a woman? I ordered the same style and size of a pair I already had, just wanted a different color. The waistband is almost two inches smaller on the new pair. Can't even zip them. (And no, the old ones aren't stretched out.)

Look, if you invite me to your wedding and ask for contributions to a "worst wedding songs" playlist I'm going to go waaaay too hard. Sorry not sorry to my friend getting married next month. 😈

One of these things is not like the others

Suddenly I have accounts on three platforms that do roughly the same thing and I'm not sure which one to run with (apart from the one clear loser).