Told partner that the cat was watching me out the door. He asked for proof. Didn’t take a pic so drew it instead.

Who needs therapy when starburster by fontaines dc exists

My partner likes taking candid pics of me which is very sweet but he’s just taken one of me in my crocs pulling my pajama wedgie out my butt.

Having followed a slimming world group for the lols at how people can make calorie counting so complicated, all I can say is January is a perfect time to get shares in quark, low fat yoghurt and ryvita.

Why is everything so loud at your parents. The tv is on 63, with subtitles. Mums left her phone open playing the same TikTok now for three minutes. They have five cuckoo clocks but they all go off slightly out of time. The kettle keeps auto reboiling cos it’s on keep warm. I need help.

Four and a half year old nephew just beat me at castle crashers on the Xbox, told me “tough shit” and did the Fortnite “loser dance” in front of me.

Getting my tubes tied in the NY.

Came into my spare room/office to find this slob lying on my mums hand crocheted blanket. It would be fine, except I don’t own a cat.

Happy wunderhorse and Sam Fender night to all my Manchester people. See ya there 😎😎😎

Print on demand is the greatest for Xmas. I’ve got my dad a t shirt with Fred Dibnah on it. I’ve found a poster with pop Cat for someone else. And I’ve got a stylised Alan partridge owl sanctuary mug for someone’s secret Santa. Absolute perfection.

My case worker for my adhd government grant didn’t ask to see proof of my diagnosis cos I’ve missed the last four of her scheduled calls through forgetfulness, sent her a pic of my dinner accidentally and spelled her name wrong twice in emails so she hasn’t deemed it necessary just on that.

Someone I know planted knotweed on her exes patio when she found out he was cheating on her a month before he was gonna get the survey done for selling up and honestly I’m not even mad about it I’m actually kinda amazed at the long game.

I want the days back of billionaires having pet tigers and doing endless coke instead of trying to influence government policy for their own gain

Love that X are saying Bluesky is full of woke leftist nuts when the first post I saw on Bluesky this morning is a guy eating fajitas in the bath and the one under that is someone talking about how nice their new bobble hat is.

The thing no one tells you about narcissistic abuse is that you will forget SO MUCH of what they did until someone else mentions something about they did and suddenly you’re like huh, I forgot about that. It’s like the trauma actively erases your memory.