The way work is organised is unsustainable and traps us in precarity, perpetual anxiety, endless fatigue…
And we try to offset it with punctuated moments of leisure, time with family and friends & so on. Fact remains it colonises so much of our time to do things we care about

Anyway, I’ve not been completely useless. I can confidently say I’ll have a substantial amount of writing done before the year ends. But damn. At what cost.

I also wanna see people and hang out without the anxiety of knowing there’s something i need to submit, get done, organise, troubleshoot and shit. Oct-Dec were really hectic for me ngl — work wise
I barely touched my school work 😮‍💨😮‍💨😑

I’m in the colony bcz I wanted a change in scenery, because I wanna be productive and write. But I’m so tired and wanna sleep all the time. But that’s not productive. And it would only mean I don’t get to rest before I jump back into work again the following year

At my work, we only went on break in the second week of December and go back to working the first week of January. During this two/three week period off, I’m somehow supposed to consolidate and get done everything I’ve been putting off. I’m not sure about this.

Anyway, #Adolescence is a cautionary tale fam. I don’t know what should be done, but something must be done.

We’re seeing a creation of toxic misogynist men in front of our eyes
So fuckin scary esp with powerful men leading the movement Iyoh

With the overexposure and access because of the age of the internet, all one can do is try their best I guess - esp in raising good men. But my gawd, toxic incel heteropatriarchal culture has become so so pervasive esp with influential perps like El*n leading it

Anyway, Black scholarship matters, even when coming from up and coming Black intellectual elites who now pontificate about Black life with so much authority 😊

The litmus test to such concepts, and not that they’re not generative, is how they would land with people ko kasi… ko metseng, on the margins. How do you tell someone who’s battling material precarity that they’re dead men walking (philosophically ofcourse)

Saying all of this to say that I’ve become comfortable with being alone and single, and I don’t want that. I have been in relationships, and while tough, they were very fulfilling. I want that again. Either this, or I’m just having a quarter life existential crisis

I feel out of sorts because I feel like I should know this, but I don’t. Most of my former lovers I met through the apps. Some were through other friends. Besides this, I have no experience. I also recognise that I might be scared to explore other options because of my anxieties

They’re toxic but often the only way to meet other queer people without having to navigate the violence of offline line. But I want to expand my horisons, and a big part of that is going beyond the apps. How did people navigate looking for romantic partners pre-apps?