i kept reading this too fast and seeing “he cut a child in half” but that’s says more about me than anything

no no *i* was the bartender; he was the new barback.

at the opening i say “i have to stop sleeping with the new barbacks, they all get so lazy after they’ve fucked me.”

in walks Harrison (who is SUCH a sweetie and amazing performer) as the new barback and i decide… okay NEXT barback i won’t bang 🤤

the things he does to me in this scene would say least get the bar a five-star review 🫠

🤌🤌🤌

oh gosh i suppose i can forgive you THIS TIME

my brain: “it’s healthy cos it has so much protein 🥺”

can we try anyway? 😈

i’ve definitely heard a bed crack under me before and it turned me on so much 😩

hmm no let’s just feed me more cakes and milkshakes until i get so big i need two plane seats to travel 🤗

yes i am!
*drinks milk out of the carton while scratching her butt*

i forgot to tell you but i snorted so loud when i saw this lol

my hypothesis is… i’m a slut 😩

i need to get a new mic 😅😅

yooo that’s so fucked 😭😭

i’m staying tonight cos we’re filming here tomorrow buuuut i think i’m going to check out early and try to get some $$ money back. the plan was to be here thru the weekend but like… nahhh