@k3llz3bub.bsky.social
If I never bartend another toddler’s birthday party then I could start to live a good life.
December 7, 2025 at 10:25 PM
If I never bartend another toddler’s birthday party then I could start to live a good life.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“No”
“Well I forgot so you missed out”
“No”
“Well I forgot so you missed out”
December 3, 2025 at 6:05 AM
“Did you hear what I said?”
“No”
“Well I forgot so you missed out”
“No”
“Well I forgot so you missed out”
Also every time someone buys a drink and doesn’t tip but says “I appreciate you” a trap door should open underneath them
November 30, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Also every time someone buys a drink and doesn’t tip but says “I appreciate you” a trap door should open underneath them
I’m only saying this because I’m cranky but I really hate when I sell someone a drink and they say cheers. We’re in America and I’m not drinking so now we both have bad luck!!!!
November 30, 2025 at 1:26 AM
I’m only saying this because I’m cranky but I really hate when I sell someone a drink and they say cheers. We’re in America and I’m not drinking so now we both have bad luck!!!!
Every person I’ve matched with on tinder today is looking for a job and I’ve sent all of them openings. Because I love supporting queers and broke bitches.
November 29, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Every person I’ve matched with on tinder today is looking for a job and I’ve sent all of them openings. Because I love supporting queers and broke bitches.
Low key who am I type shit
November 28, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Low key who am I type shit
Slow shifts before the holidays are so crazy. I’m really just standing here plotting how I’d physically different family members.
November 26, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Slow shifts before the holidays are so crazy. I’m really just standing here plotting how I’d physically different family members.
My therapist is so good she’s ruined all my best bits
November 20, 2025 at 10:43 PM
My therapist is so good she’s ruined all my best bits
Am I deeply seasonally depressed or has quizzo in a nearly empty bar always reminded me of my relationship with my parents?
November 19, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Am I deeply seasonally depressed or has quizzo in a nearly empty bar always reminded me of my relationship with my parents?
Putting sunlamps behind the bar as a public health and safety matter
November 18, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Putting sunlamps behind the bar as a public health and safety matter
Urology networking event at my job is really pissing me off
November 16, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Urology networking event at my job is really pissing me off
Have you ever been so angry you wish your hands were guns?
November 16, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Have you ever been so angry you wish your hands were guns?
I love when people ask me how the comedy show was at the end of my shift. It was great I got so much done on Facebook marketplace.
November 15, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I love when people ask me how the comedy show was at the end of my shift. It was great I got so much done on Facebook marketplace.
My memoir is gonna be called “did I smoke that whole blunt?”
November 14, 2025 at 4:42 AM
My memoir is gonna be called “did I smoke that whole blunt?”
I’m polyamorous in a “can each of you give me $20” type of way
November 10, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I’m polyamorous in a “can each of you give me $20” type of way
I gotta stop asking woke people for tampons
November 8, 2025 at 3:54 AM
I gotta stop asking woke people for tampons
Not to brag but I’ve eaten like 5 cloves of garlic today
November 7, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Not to brag but I’ve eaten like 5 cloves of garlic today
red jumpsuit apparatus so corny I almost stayed with my abuser
October 28, 2025 at 10:20 PM
red jumpsuit apparatus so corny I almost stayed with my abuser
I have a meme folding called “ouch” and if I have slow therapy day I’m gonna ask her to explain why these memes hurt my feelings.
October 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I have a meme folding called “ouch” and if I have slow therapy day I’m gonna ask her to explain why these memes hurt my feelings.
I love my neighbors and community but my block party has plays 1 boyz 2 men song 6 times already
October 4, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I love my neighbors and community but my block party has plays 1 boyz 2 men song 6 times already
This girl told me she’s not a dessert person so I think I gotta ghost her
September 20, 2025 at 1:08 AM
This girl told me she’s not a dessert person so I think I gotta ghost her
I HAD AN ICE COFFEE PLEASE LET ME HELP
September 16, 2025 at 10:27 PM
I HAD AN ICE COFFEE PLEASE LET ME HELP
HELP I MADE FRENCH 75S FOR A PARTY BUT SAID FRECH 45s AND EVERYONE THINKS I MADE UP A NEW COCKTAIL BUT REALLY IM JUST BAD AT NUMBERS AND TALKING AND BEING AROUND PEOPLE
September 15, 2025 at 8:13 PM
HELP I MADE FRENCH 75S FOR A PARTY BUT SAID FRECH 45s AND EVERYONE THINKS I MADE UP A NEW COCKTAIL BUT REALLY IM JUST BAD AT NUMBERS AND TALKING AND BEING AROUND PEOPLE
Today I tried to say the word precarious, but instead said bi curious
September 8, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Today I tried to say the word precarious, but instead said bi curious
A man cat called me and I said “join the picket line since you wanna stand around and yell shit”
July 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
A man cat called me and I said “join the picket line since you wanna stand around and yell shit”