Pinned
jj
@jznszn.bsky.social
· Dec 31
bob marley and the whalers? wrong! WRONG! he never hunted a goddamn fish in his entire life. appropriating the culture and profession of my grandfather, and the thousands of whales he PROUDLY killed for FREE!
gonna be live-streaming my commute tomorrow morning. for each new sub i get i’ll pick one unlucky driver and make them 5min late to work
February 10, 2026 at 1:17 AM
gonna be live-streaming my commute tomorrow morning. for each new sub i get i’ll pick one unlucky driver and make them 5min late to work
getting flamed by my gf for taking a picture of a random garage door cause it looked like a rothko
January 19, 2026 at 6:06 PM
getting flamed by my gf for taking a picture of a random garage door cause it looked like a rothko
me, hooked on the car drugs: one more hydroplane. please, just one more hydroplane
January 2, 2026 at 8:34 PM
me, hooked on the car drugs: one more hydroplane. please, just one more hydroplane
bob marley and the whalers? wrong! WRONG! he never hunted a goddamn fish in his entire life. appropriating the culture and profession of my grandfather, and the thousands of whales he PROUDLY killed for FREE!
December 31, 2025 at 8:01 PM
bob marley and the whalers? wrong! WRONG! he never hunted a goddamn fish in his entire life. appropriating the culture and profession of my grandfather, and the thousands of whales he PROUDLY killed for FREE!
ugh, yes i’ve been crying. and no, i’m not one of those “cool people” that are in touch with their feelings. i just yawn a shit ton
December 28, 2025 at 8:01 PM
ugh, yes i’ve been crying. and no, i’m not one of those “cool people” that are in touch with their feelings. i just yawn a shit ton
if einstein didn’t look like a crazy old man none of you posers would’ve given a flying fuck about gravitational waves
December 28, 2025 at 1:37 AM
if einstein didn’t look like a crazy old man none of you posers would’ve given a flying fuck about gravitational waves
if i use a water refill station and the “bottles saved” number doesn’t change, i dump everything out and refill again until it does
#savingtheplanet #bethechangeyouwishtoseeintheworld
#savingtheplanet #bethechangeyouwishtoseeintheworld
December 28, 2025 at 1:29 AM
if i use a water refill station and the “bottles saved” number doesn’t change, i dump everything out and refill again until it does
#savingtheplanet #bethechangeyouwishtoseeintheworld
#savingtheplanet #bethechangeyouwishtoseeintheworld
i have a stupid fun mustache joke that i can’t crack the wording of
December 13, 2025 at 6:47 AM
i have a stupid fun mustache joke that i can’t crack the wording of
shen yun works hard but i work harder
December 13, 2025 at 1:48 AM
shen yun works hard but i work harder
mixing additional bird noises to the background of my music to remind yall that they really are out there
December 10, 2025 at 5:07 PM
mixing additional bird noises to the background of my music to remind yall that they really are out there
they should invent sunscreen that doesn’t make me want to kill myself
December 8, 2025 at 7:05 AM
they should invent sunscreen that doesn’t make me want to kill myself
look to your left. now look to your right. 90% of you will fail this class.
welcome to piss 304
welcome to piss 304
December 1, 2025 at 8:00 AM
look to your left. now look to your right. 90% of you will fail this class.
welcome to piss 304
welcome to piss 304
my toilet named gerber, like the baby
October 30, 2025 at 6:27 AM
my toilet named gerber, like the baby
oh montongo street? yah i think my brother montongo was named after that spot. small world huh
October 10, 2025 at 2:33 AM
oh montongo street? yah i think my brother montongo was named after that spot. small world huh
throwing gravel on the ground to deter the neighborhood ducks.
don’t ask me how this shit fucking works
don’t ask me how this shit fucking works
October 7, 2025 at 6:09 AM
throwing gravel on the ground to deter the neighborhood ducks.
don’t ask me how this shit fucking works
don’t ask me how this shit fucking works
second sleep? bitch im getting no sleep cause this fkn song is stuck in my head all day
October 4, 2025 at 7:38 AM
second sleep? bitch im getting no sleep cause this fkn song is stuck in my head all day
they should make centipede cars: 100 wheels and EXTREMELY venomous
September 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
they should make centipede cars: 100 wheels and EXTREMELY venomous
running over bumblebees on my way to work at the soup kitchen when acclaimed voice actor and stanch anthophila supporter jerry seinfeld rear ends and totals my car. karma really is a beetch
September 9, 2025 at 4:12 PM
running over bumblebees on my way to work at the soup kitchen when acclaimed voice actor and stanch anthophila supporter jerry seinfeld rear ends and totals my car. karma really is a beetch
*arm mimicking a window wiper* so anyways so that’s what a window wiper looks like
walt disney’s freshly thawed body in my bathtub: why am i in a bathtub
walt disney’s freshly thawed body in my bathtub: why am i in a bathtub
August 31, 2025 at 6:34 PM
*arm mimicking a window wiper* so anyways so that’s what a window wiper looks like
walt disney’s freshly thawed body in my bathtub: why am i in a bathtub
walt disney’s freshly thawed body in my bathtub: why am i in a bathtub
in my next book titled “101 Ways to Kill a Swan” i will illustrate 100 of the most well known methods of swan execution, and one last technique that might just surprise you
August 7, 2025 at 12:25 AM
in my next book titled “101 Ways to Kill a Swan” i will illustrate 100 of the most well known methods of swan execution, and one last technique that might just surprise you
eating lunch is a lot like chess. you “win” by eating pieces with a fork.
pls nominate this post for the best “lunch x chess” crossover of the year. thank you
pls nominate this post for the best “lunch x chess” crossover of the year. thank you
August 6, 2025 at 11:53 PM
eating lunch is a lot like chess. you “win” by eating pieces with a fork.
pls nominate this post for the best “lunch x chess” crossover of the year. thank you
pls nominate this post for the best “lunch x chess” crossover of the year. thank you
you buy gas at a gas station? hah. not me. my car runs on delicious, natural water.
ok well technically I drink the water and then pee into the car, so nvm ig it actually runs on piss
ok well technically I drink the water and then pee into the car, so nvm ig it actually runs on piss
July 30, 2025 at 7:33 AM
you buy gas at a gas station? hah. not me. my car runs on delicious, natural water.
ok well technically I drink the water and then pee into the car, so nvm ig it actually runs on piss
ok well technically I drink the water and then pee into the car, so nvm ig it actually runs on piss
frantically fighting off a midlife crisis by curling my hair and straightening my pubes
July 29, 2025 at 3:50 AM
frantically fighting off a midlife crisis by curling my hair and straightening my pubes
actually enjoying music again.
shits crazy
shits crazy
July 18, 2025 at 6:16 AM
actually enjoying music again.
shits crazy
shits crazy
only gone a week and the streets already switched up on me…
July 17, 2025 at 12:19 AM
only gone a week and the streets already switched up on me…