Very pleased with our Shark

I quite viscerally remember Mylene klass on TV (question time?) in 2015 saying "you can't get a garage for £1m in some parts of London"

I had a very similar experience in the Hawley recently. Lived round the corner 15 years ago. Went back for a beer, worried that I'd be the oldest person in there. Nope. Same people, all now older

Rochdale: "Came down from heaven on a Yamaha. Pulled a skid, killed a kid, trapped his balls in a dustbin lid"

I was once laughed at by a taxi driver in Norwich for pronouncing Costessey exactly how it is spelt. It turns out it has at least three silent letters. "Cossey"

Dahl is actually quite uncomfortable though. The greatest hits are mostly fine but e.g. the glass elevator is downright racist, in a pub bore kind of way

Not sure about this. I remember regular getting moved on by the Police when trying to hang around in the town centre when I was a teen (25+ years ago). We were never doing anything other than hanging around

Agree. Dodgy vape shops, nail salons, multiple homeless people with very similar looking signs saying they are hungry. Provides lots of visual material that will be absorbed as "evidence" of irregular migration being widespread

I am a big fan of the ones that are claiming benefits on the basis that they can't lift their own head up, then they are filmed running ultra marathons or something. The more extreme the better

Brown trout? We have them in the River Shep in Cambs

Heard a very similar story from a (resigned) journalist. All those click bait stories of 'when and where is the boxing match between ...' that were keeping newspapers going have been lost to AI

~17 years ago I worked at a school where none of the kids had English as a first language. I remember this story coming round every year even then but they were weirdly selective. We were never in it, despite having zero first language English speakers for as long as staff could remember

Very similar thing happened with conedian Josie Long, although the look she gave me suggested that it happened to her a lot

Once saw a woman and knew I knew her from somewhere, couldn't remember why but assumed it was work. Decided to smile and say hello, hoping that was enough. She looked confused and carried on walking. Millisecond later realized it was Sarah Brown, Gordon Browns wife, who I definitely don't know

"I wanna have your babies, get serious like crazy"

Once worked close to gov ministers but quite young and not great at office dress. A government minister said "have you gone for the two tone look today?". I just smiled, didn't know what he meant. Later realised I had mixed up my 2 suits and was wearing a silvery grey jacket and navy blue trousers.

We are going to need you to name that pub