I want to be a better Dad, and I wish to find peace in my mind and joy in my heart. I have no desire for the love of another, and I’m scared I never will. It’s going to be the longest journey I’ll ever take I feel. I hope to look back at this one day having found meaning and self-worth again.

I must now collect the pieces left behind and somehow repair my life. I am thankful for my children as they are the only humans that give me reasons to exist. It may sound dramatic, but I’m experiencing a hurt, an emptiness that is emotionally and sometimes physically crippling.

I question the honesty of her departure, but I can no longer waste my thoughts on this, nor do I wish to disparage her. When I told her “I do” I meant it with every fiber of my being. I let her down, and in turn, she did the same. I will never make this promise to another so long as i breath.

Despite it all, I somehow managed to find someone who truly cared for me and I loved her dearly. We always struggled, but we built a life and family. We fought for and against each other, and it all fell apart. Now, I have come to the lowest point in my life despite having children to take care of.

To add a bit of context to this:

My wife left me.
I lost my home.
My Father passed away.
My Great Uncle passed away.
My Grandma is 98 and rapidly declining.
I’m an emotional train wreck.

Be kind to each other folks. Sometimes, life throws too much at us.