well i'm attempting to train

i still sometimes get a closeup view of his junk. looks cool, smells nice

i still remember my thoughts from the first time:
very stressful as he was practically a stranger then.
tactile sensation difference between the head and body of the penis was very fascinating.
his genitals looked mesmerizing. as expected of #1 fan of penises
cum volume and smell threw me off tho

first ever handjob was dry too. i didn't know any better and wasn't told otherwise LOL, well he still came that time no complaints so it's good enough. flinching at the idea today

we got A for highest, not A+
so straight As would be A and A- :D

which clearly does not work lol

dilator should be consistent, 2-3 times a week? for it to work i guess. problem is i can't store it at home, it will be found. so the most frequent would be once a week

i really like sucking off and could live without any other type of penetration. though very curious about front these days. previously feared it (past sexist thoughts of it making me less of a man, which only applied to me and never others & tokophobia)

the idea of finishing inside as long as im taking 🥴

anal:
no prep so always using condoms
dull sensation

front:
inside cummable (no chance of scares)
potential pleasant sensation

oh and I haven't been applying estriol cream for weeks now so that might have played a role in how rough things felt