Justin Lehmiller
@justinlehmiller.bsky.social
Social psychologist, sexuality researcher, author, pinball wizard. Kinsey Institute Senior Research Fellow. Host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast. Author of the book Tell Me What You Want.
If you grew up afraid of your own sexual feelings, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.
In this episode, we're diving into life after purity culture. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-448-life-after-purity-culture/
In this episode, we're diving into life after purity culture. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-448-life-after-purity-culture/
Episode 448: Life After Purity Culture - Sex and Psychology
Purity culture teaches folks to fear sex and feel ashamed of it. So how do you move past it? That's what we're talking about in this episode.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
If you grew up afraid of your own sexual feelings, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.
In this episode, we're diving into life after purity culture. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-448-life-after-purity-culture/
In this episode, we're diving into life after purity culture. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-448-life-after-purity-culture/
It's that time of year again when the days start getting pretty short. If you've noticed changes in your mood or libido lately, you're not alone. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2025/11/10/how-seasonal-affective-disorder-affects-sexual-desire/
How Seasonal Affective Disorder Affects Sexual Desire - Sex and Psychology
When the days get shorter, people often feel more depressed, and some feel less desire for sex than usual.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 10, 2025 at 3:30 PM
It's that time of year again when the days start getting pretty short. If you've noticed changes in your mood or libido lately, you're not alone. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2025/11/10/how-seasonal-affective-disorder-affects-sexual-desire/
Although only 2-3% of people say they're currently in an open relationship, about 1 in 5 say they've had an open relationship before. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/17/one-in-five-people-report-having-been-in-a-sexually-open-relationship/
One in Five People Report Having Been in a Sexually Open Relationship - Sex and Psychology
How many people have ever been involved in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship before? The results of two recent studies involving nationally representative samples (one from the United States and one from Canada) reached nearly identical conclusions: approximately 20% (or 1 in 5) respondents said they had.The U.S. study is from 2016 and it was previously covered on the blog here; however, the Canadian study just came out, so here are a few of the highlights from it.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 10, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Although only 2-3% of people say they're currently in an open relationship, about 1 in 5 say they've had an open relationship before. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/17/one-in-five-people-report-having-been-in-a-sexually-open-relationship/
Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you? That sex toys are just for women? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life? It's time to set the record straight. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-447-do-sex-toys-ruin-sex-myth-vs-fact/
Episode 447: Do Sex Toys Ruin Sex? Myth Vs. Fact - Sex and Psychology
Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you? Or that if you need a toy, you must have a problem? Let's set the record straight on sex toys.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 9, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you? That sex toys are just for women? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life? It's time to set the record straight. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-447-do-sex-toys-ruin-sex-myth-vs-fact/
It turns out that people have been making obscene telephone calls for almost as long as the telephone has been in existence. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/10/the-history-of-the-obscene-telephone-call/
The History of Obscene Telephone Calls - Sex and Psychology
People have been making obscene telephone calls for almost as long as the telephone has been in existence. In recent years, however, they have begun to change form, as digital communications have offered several new ways of achieving the same goals, while maintaining more anonymity. A recent paper in the Archives of Sexual Behavior traced the history of obscene telephone calls and the people who make them. Below, I share some the timeline and some of the key takeaways from this review.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:00 PM
It turns out that people have been making obscene telephone calls for almost as long as the telephone has been in existence. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/10/the-history-of-the-obscene-telephone-call/
Too many parents wait for the “right” time to come along for “the talk,” only to find that it never does. Recognize that there's never going to be a "right" or "perfect" time. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/5/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-sex/
How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex - Sex and Psychology
As a sex educator and researcher, one of the more common questions I get asked is when and how to talk to your kids about sex. Case in point: a reader of the blog recently asked, “At what age should parents talk about sex to their children—or at what age do children need to know about sex?” So when should you start? And what the heck do parents need to know about navigating this discussion? Here’s a brief guide to help you get started.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Too many parents wait for the “right” time to come along for “the talk,” only to find that it never does. Recognize that there's never going to be a "right" or "perfect" time. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/5/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-sex/
Greater spending on engagement rings is related to shorter marital length. Similarly, couples with higher wedding expenses have a greater risk of divorce. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-of-sex/202402/the-bigger-the-bling-the-shorter-the-marriage
Why an Expensive Ring May Predict a Short Marriage
Higher wedding spending is linked to higher risk of divorce.
www.psychologytoday.com
November 8, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Greater spending on engagement rings is related to shorter marital length. Similarly, couples with higher wedding expenses have a greater risk of divorce. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-of-sex/202402/the-bigger-the-bling-the-shorter-the-marriage
How many people have ever faked an orgasm before? What are the most common reasons for doing it? And is pretending to orgasm a good or bad idea? astroglide.com/blog/faking-...
Pros & Cons of Faking Orgasms in Relationships | ASTROGLIDE
Both men & women fake orgasms for a variety of positive & negative reasons. Dive in deep with Dr. Justin to understand the possible reasons for faking it.
astroglide.com
November 8, 2025 at 5:47 PM
How many people have ever faked an orgasm before? What are the most common reasons for doing it? And is pretending to orgasm a good or bad idea? astroglide.com/blog/faking-...
If your partner is threatened by a vibrator, the issue is not the vibrator. In today's show, we're talking about why sex toys sometimes stoke insecurity in relationships and how to deal with it. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-447-do-sex-toys-ruin-sex-myth-vs-fact/
Episode 447: Do Sex Toys Ruin Sex? Myth Vs. Fact - Sex and Psychology
Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you? Or that if you need a toy, you must have a problem? Let's set the record straight on sex toys.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 8, 2025 at 3:00 AM
If your partner is threatened by a vibrator, the issue is not the vibrator. In today's show, we're talking about why sex toys sometimes stoke insecurity in relationships and how to deal with it. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-447-do-sex-toys-ruin-sex-myth-vs-fact/
If sex toys “ruined” sex, we’d all be in big trouble. Luckily, they don’t. To the contrary, toys can enhance sexual satisfaction and communication. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-447-do-sex-toys-ruin-sex-myth-vs-fact/
Episode 447: Do Sex Toys Ruin Sex? Myth Vs. Fact - Sex and Psychology
Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you? Or that if you need a toy, you must have a problem? Let's set the record straight on sex toys.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 7, 2025 at 3:30 PM
If sex toys “ruined” sex, we’d all be in big trouble. Luckily, they don’t. To the contrary, toys can enhance sexual satisfaction and communication. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-447-do-sex-toys-ruin-sex-myth-vs-fact/
Does sex still sell? New research finds that being too attractive can actually hurt influencers' social media engagement (particularly for those who work in the health and fitness space) because they're seen as less relatable. www.the-independent.com/life-style/i...
Does sex still sell? New research shows being too attractive can hurt influencers
Gender matters; highly attractive female fitness influencers faced stronger backlash than equally attractive men
www.the-independent.com
November 6, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Does sex still sell? New research finds that being too attractive can actually hurt influencers' social media engagement (particularly for those who work in the health and fitness space) because they're seen as less relatable. www.the-independent.com/life-style/i...
The words a woman chooses to call her genitals reveals something about her sexual well-being. Using playful/childish terms in non-sexual contexts is linked to negative outcomes; using vulgar terms during sex is connected to positive sexual experiences. link.springer.com/article/10.1...
Vagina, Pussy, Vulva, Vag: Women's Names for Their Genitals are Differentially Associated with Sexual and Health Outcomes - Sex Roles
Feminist scholars have long emphasized the power of language in shaping women's feelings and behaviors towards their bodies, yet this proposition remains underexplored with regard to women’s genitals....
link.springer.com
November 5, 2025 at 2:54 PM
The words a woman chooses to call her genitals reveals something about her sexual well-being. Using playful/childish terms in non-sexual contexts is linked to negative outcomes; using vulgar terms during sex is connected to positive sexual experiences. link.springer.com/article/10.1...
Online stings to catch sexual predators are on the rise. A growing number are targeting ageplay kink communities, in which adults engage in role play as children. David J. Ley Ph.D.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/202511/could-your-kink-be-misunderstood-by-law-enforcement
Could Your Kink Be Misunderstood by Law Enforcement?
Online stings by law enforcement effectively detect potential sexual offenders. However, they may also pose a potential risk to people who engage in fantasy online roleplay.
www.psychologytoday.com
November 4, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Online stings to catch sexual predators are on the rise. A growing number are targeting ageplay kink communities, in which adults engage in role play as children. David J. Ley Ph.D.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/202511/could-your-kink-be-misunderstood-by-law-enforcement
Sex toys aren’t just products—they’re experiences. In this week’s episode, Spain’s first professional sex toy tester joins me to talk design, desire, and how toys can change your relationship to pleasure. www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast...
Episode 446: What It's Like To Be A Professional Sex Toy Tester - Sex and Psychology
Venus O'Hara has reviewed more than 1,000 sex toys. In this episode, we're talking about what she's learned and how toys can improve our intimate lives.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 4, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Sex toys aren’t just products—they’re experiences. In this week’s episode, Spain’s first professional sex toy tester joins me to talk design, desire, and how toys can change your relationship to pleasure. www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast...
A larget set of studies (N = 56,892) confirms that men generally exhibited greater gender-specificity than women across self-reported sexual orientation, sexual attraction, and sexual fantasies, as well as indirect measures of sexual attraction. www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....
Gender-Specificity in Sexual Attraction and Fantasies: Evidence from Self-Report and Indirect Measures
Gender differences in the gender-specificity of physiological and psychological sexual responses have been widely studied. Men’s sexual responses are typically described as gender-specific, with st...
www.tandfonline.com
November 3, 2025 at 2:53 PM
A larget set of studies (N = 56,892) confirms that men generally exhibited greater gender-specificity than women across self-reported sexual orientation, sexual attraction, and sexual fantasies, as well as indirect measures of sexual attraction. www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....
Research finds that the more time couples spend spooning or otherwise being intimate after sex, the happier they tend to be. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/3/why-spooning-after-sex-might-be-good-for-your-love-life/
Why Spooning After Sex Might Be Good For Your Love Life - Sex and Psychology
What do you do after sex? Some people like to spoon or cuddle, others go to sleep, and yet others get up to grab something to eat or drink. But does what you do matter? For people in relationships, it certainly seems to, according to research. In fact, the more that couples spoon or otherwise express affection or intimacy after sex, the happier they tend to be.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 3, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Research finds that the more time couples spend spooning or otherwise being intimate after sex, the happier they tend to be. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/3/why-spooning-after-sex-might-be-good-for-your-love-life/
The idea behind “daddy issues” is that straight women and gay men who had troubled relationships with their fathers are going to be more eager to please in bed or more DTF. But is it true? https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-445-freak-in-the-head-freak-in-the-bed/
Episode 445: Freak In The Head, Freak In The Bed? - Sex and Psychology
The internet is full of posts suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is that really true?
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 2, 2025 at 9:00 PM
The idea behind “daddy issues” is that straight women and gay men who had troubled relationships with their fathers are going to be more eager to please in bed or more DTF. But is it true? https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-445-freak-in-the-head-freak-in-the-bed/
Orgasms trigger severe headaches in some people. In others, however, orgasms provide headache relief. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/3/27/7-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-orgasms/
7 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Orgasms - Sex and Psychology
The science of orgasm is a fascinating subject. In this post, we’ll take a look at seven of the most interesting things scientists have discovered about orgasms. What to learn more? Check out this video for even more orgasm facts. 1.) The faces people make when they have an orgasm look different across cultures. Researchers have found that the Western orgasm face includes eyes that are opened wider and a vertically stretched mouth, while the East Asian orgasm face includes more smiling, with a raised brow and closed eyes.
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 2, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Orgasms trigger severe headaches in some people. In others, however, orgasms provide headache relief. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/3/27/7-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-orgasms/
People in the most religious states search for the most porn--and 4 other things we've learned about Americans' sexuality from their Google searches. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/3/20/5-things-americans-google-searches-have-taught-us-about-sex/
5 Things Americans’ Google Searches Have Taught Us About Sex - Sex and Psychology
In the last few years, Google Trends has become a favored research tools of sex scientists. Because not everyone is willing to participate in sex studies for various reasons, Google searches offer a handy means of looking at what a broader swath of the population thinks about sex. The appeal doesn’t stop there, though. We also know that people don’t always answer survey questions honestly (even when they’re guaranteed anonymity) due to fear, shame, and embarrassment. For instance, some people may not honestly report their turn-ons because they’re embarrassed, while others might lie about...
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 2, 2025 at 2:00 AM
People in the most religious states search for the most porn--and 4 other things we've learned about Americans' sexuality from their Google searches. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/3/20/5-things-americans-google-searches-have-taught-us-about-sex/
Trying new things and sharing new experiences (sexual and non-sexual) is one of the keys to keeping passion alive. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-of-sex/202311/why-we-crave-sexual-novelty
Why Long-Term Partners Might Need Some Sexual Novelty
How couples can avoid the Coolidge Effect.
www.psychologytoday.com
November 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Trying new things and sharing new experiences (sexual and non-sexual) is one of the keys to keeping passion alive. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-of-sex/202311/why-we-crave-sexual-novelty
Research finds that vasectomies have the potential to increase sexual frequency and satisfaction for men and their partners. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/2/11/how-vasectomies-affect-mens-and-womens-sex-lives/
How Vasectomies Affect Men’s (And Women’s) Sex Lives - Sex and Psychology
Vasectomies are one of the most underutilized forms of birth control, in part, because a lot of men are worried about the procedure having a number of negative effects on their sex lives. According to the American Urological Association, “many patients are concerned that vasectomy may cause changes in sexual function such as erectile dysfunction, reduced or absent orgasmic sensation, decreased ejaculate volume, reduced sexual interest, decreased genital sensation and/or diminished sexual pleasure.”But are these concerns founded? Do guys really need to be worried about vasectomies hurting...
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 1, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Research finds that vasectomies have the potential to increase sexual frequency and satisfaction for men and their partners. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/2/11/how-vasectomies-affect-mens-and-womens-sex-lives/
Research finds that people with psychopathic characteristics are often rated as more attractive. So what's up with that? That's what we're talking about in today's episode. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-445-freak-in-the-head-freak-in-the-bed/
Episode 445: Freak In The Head, Freak In The Bed? - Sex and Psychology
The internet is full of posts suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is that really true?
www.sexandpsychology.com
November 1, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Research finds that people with psychopathic characteristics are often rated as more attractive. So what's up with that? That's what we're talking about in today's episode. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-445-freak-in-the-head-freak-in-the-bed/
From the hot/crazy matrix to "daddy issues" memes, the internet is full of content suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is it really true?https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-445-freak-in-the-head-freak-in-the-bed/
Episode 445: Freak In The Head, Freak In The Bed? - Sex and Psychology
The internet is full of posts suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is that really true?
www.sexandpsychology.com
October 31, 2025 at 2:04 PM
From the hot/crazy matrix to "daddy issues" memes, the internet is full of content suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is it really true?https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-445-freak-in-the-head-freak-in-the-bed/
From trauma to boundaries to gaslighting, "therapy speak" is everywhere online. However, it's causing these terms to lose their meaning and making it harder for us to understand each other. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-444-what-social-media-gets-wrong-about-relationships/
Page not found - Sex and Psychology
The rise of “therapy speak” and how, for better or for worse, it’s reshaping the way we talk about emotions, conflict, and relationships.
www.sexandpsychology.com
October 31, 2025 at 2:00 AM
From trauma to boundaries to gaslighting, "therapy speak" is everywhere online. However, it's causing these terms to lose their meaning and making it harder for us to understand each other. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-444-what-social-media-gets-wrong-about-relationships/
Among Gen Z adults, 15% of men and 18% of women consider themselves to be voluntarily celibate. The single most common reason reported for taking a break from sex and dating was to focus on one's self for a while. www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/fa...
They're young, they're single — and they're not having sex: Meet the Gen Z celibates
A third of Gen Z-ers are celibate, according to recent surveys. Not all of them forego sex by choice — but some who are willingly celibate say it's about self-improvement and empowerment.
www.yahoo.com
October 30, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Among Gen Z adults, 15% of men and 18% of women consider themselves to be voluntarily celibate. The single most common reason reported for taking a break from sex and dating was to focus on one's self for a while. www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/fa...