Surely there has never been a kitty more deserving of a whole chicken.

For some reason this really makes me want to know how you feel about "I Would Do Anything for Love" by Meatloaf. Must have been something about the other denizens of my high school.

We're waiting.

Have you read the review by the man who bought himself a masturbator which sucked one of his balls into the sleeve and wouldn't let go? It's... quite a ride...

Suffice it to say, after reading that, if I had a bio dick, I'd stick with the torsos 😆

Okay look, you know how some purportedly heterosexual men will look at David Bowie and then say, "Okay, actually, no one's THAT straight?"

I don't even like chocolate cake, but I would 100% shiv someone for that. Did it have a secondary flavor, or is it just pink?

WOW! Incredible job!

Absolutely no one has that kind of time!

Huh. I looked at the list and thought, "My gosh, what ELSE would you do on a date?"

Conscious and adorable - who can resist you?!

Seduction lessons!? I didn't get where I am today by...