Please come to my Super Bowl party 🥺

Just watched a TikTok of Bryce Harper making a latte and I’m pretty sure they want to ban the app because they don’t want us to know our favorite athletes are actually complete fucking losers when they’re not playing sports.

Lol. I’m over here trying! Shit’s embarrassing as hell!

If your favorite Pokémon is Gengar you probably also think Good Charlotte is real punk. Cubone is for the streets!

Shout out to pilots! Most of the time? Pretty good!

Not sure how many times you’re supposed roll r’s in Spanish. There’s a fine line between sounding authentic and sounding ridiculous. Either way, I’m pretty horrrrrrny 😈

Not sure if this Spanish toy store:
A) is not carrying Luigi
B) has sold out of Luigi
C) has removed Luigi

Gonna send a bunch of booking requests on Christmas cause I know all you fuckers are on your phones ignoring your family just like me.

Putting oat milk in your oatmeal? Savage.

Almost tore my hamstring using one of these old world European bidets. Bet when they were designing these things they never fathomed having to accommodate a unit like me.

Is there butts on this app too? If not, I might have to go back to X.