Jim Reese
@jsreese.bsky.social
What if the pyramids were just billionaire bunkers that were sealed from the outside once the pharaohs went inside?
October 25, 2025 at 12:28 PM
What if the pyramids were just billionaire bunkers that were sealed from the outside once the pharaohs went inside?
I am not saying I wanted the president to fall off the White House roof on to the newly paved rose garden. I am saying I would appreciate the literary implications.
August 5, 2025 at 11:06 PM
I am not saying I wanted the president to fall off the White House roof on to the newly paved rose garden. I am saying I would appreciate the literary implications.
Of all the lies this administration has told, my favorite bafflingly entertaining one is that Donald Trump has 4% body fat. Did they take that measurement from his teeth?
July 24, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Of all the lies this administration has told, my favorite bafflingly entertaining one is that Donald Trump has 4% body fat. Did they take that measurement from his teeth?
I am looking forward to the FBI releasing the Epstein documents so we see just how many times Epstein partied at Mar-a-Lago with Barack Obama and his wife Melania.
July 23, 2025 at 12:56 PM
I am looking forward to the FBI releasing the Epstein documents so we see just how many times Epstein partied at Mar-a-Lago with Barack Obama and his wife Melania.
A lot of things I expected to happen during this administration have happened. Never in my wildest dreams did I think someone would threaten WW3 unless he won a Nobel Peace Prize.
June 21, 2025 at 5:13 PM
A lot of things I expected to happen during this administration have happened. Never in my wildest dreams did I think someone would threaten WW3 unless he won a Nobel Peace Prize.
I hope there is never a point in my life where people a debating if I have dementia or have always been a moron.
June 13, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I hope there is never a point in my life where people a debating if I have dementia or have always been a moron.
Watching my parents trying to do two-factor authentication is like they are launching the nukes.
April 12, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Watching my parents trying to do two-factor authentication is like they are launching the nukes.
My son and I are at the discount shoe store waiting for the new Air Gordon’s to drop.
March 29, 2025 at 6:22 PM
My son and I are at the discount shoe store waiting for the new Air Gordon’s to drop.
A professor where I work wrote an article that was critical of Trump, so my department is scrubbing his contact information from the college website because he is receiving threats.
March 22, 2025 at 3:04 PM
A professor where I work wrote an article that was critical of Trump, so my department is scrubbing his contact information from the college website because he is receiving threats.
Next year’s State of the Union.
March 13, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Next year’s State of the Union.
I think we are a week away from Trump having to talk to his manager about what you can get for your trade-in.
March 12, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I think we are a week away from Trump having to talk to his manager about what you can get for your trade-in.
Here is my idea: Elon Musk has to read the abstract of every research project he cut funding for on live television. He then has to explain the abstract in simple terms. If he fails, they shock his testicles while they explain what the actual research is. It will be like “Ow, My Balls,” but better.
March 7, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Here is my idea: Elon Musk has to read the abstract of every research project he cut funding for on live television. He then has to explain the abstract in simple terms. If he fails, they shock his testicles while they explain what the actual research is. It will be like “Ow, My Balls,” but better.
If I opt for the citizen+ plan for my citizenship, can I opt out of ads for sketchy crypto and Trump-branded catheters?
February 26, 2025 at 9:50 PM
If I opt for the citizen+ plan for my citizenship, can I opt out of ads for sketchy crypto and Trump-branded catheters?
I challenge you to find a picture of Kash Patel that doesn’t look like he is staring in your window at 3 am.
February 21, 2025 at 8:12 PM
I challenge you to find a picture of Kash Patel that doesn’t look like he is staring in your window at 3 am.
Stephen Miller seems like he has stomped around his house because his wife wouldn’t let him go outside in his SS uniform.
February 20, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Stephen Miller seems like he has stomped around his house because his wife wouldn’t let him go outside in his SS uniform.
I have been listening to Keith Jarrett recently. I love his piano playing, but it sounds like they let a chatty sheep loose on stage.
February 20, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I have been listening to Keith Jarrett recently. I love his piano playing, but it sounds like they let a chatty sheep loose on stage.
One of the worst bits of advice someone can give you is, “Be yourself.” I would amend it to be, “Be the version of yourself that went to therapy and fixed everything wrong with you.”
February 20, 2025 at 2:45 PM
One of the worst bits of advice someone can give you is, “Be yourself.” I would amend it to be, “Be the version of yourself that went to therapy and fixed everything wrong with you.”
If you are still allowed at White House press briefings, you are not doing your job.
February 17, 2025 at 11:15 PM
If you are still allowed at White House press briefings, you are not doing your job.
I saw a headline from Men’s Health that said, “My Goal Was to Run a 5k. One Year Later, I Completed the NYC Marathon.” That is my running pace too.
February 14, 2025 at 8:52 PM
I saw a headline from Men’s Health that said, “My Goal Was to Run a 5k. One Year Later, I Completed the NYC Marathon.” That is my running pace too.
I think it is time to take advantage of the egg shortage and raw milk crowd and sell those eggs that have been sitting in my fridge for eight months.
February 13, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I think it is time to take advantage of the egg shortage and raw milk crowd and sell those eggs that have been sitting in my fridge for eight months.
Elon believes there is no SQL in the government database. Don’t correct him. Someone gave him an Excel spreadsheet of their fantasy football league and told him it was all the government data.
February 13, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Elon believes there is no SQL in the government database. Don’t correct him. Someone gave him an Excel spreadsheet of their fantasy football league and told him it was all the government data.
Did anyone notice when Trump leaned in to say someone to Elon’s kid, he glanced up at Elon and backed off?
February 13, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Did anyone notice when Trump leaned in to say someone to Elon’s kid, he glanced up at Elon and backed off?
I know a lot of people might be concerned with Elon Musk having so much access to our personal data. I am pretty sure all of that information will be publicly available in no time. Everyone should have enough information for Elon to co-sign your auto loan.
February 12, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I know a lot of people might be concerned with Elon Musk having so much access to our personal data. I am pretty sure all of that information will be publicly available in no time. Everyone should have enough information for Elon to co-sign your auto loan.
I am beginning to think the Puppy Bowl might be fixed.
February 9, 2025 at 6:26 PM
I am beginning to think the Puppy Bowl might be fixed.
I’d recommend that instead of doomscrolling through headlines in the morning, watch a Mr. Rogers clip or the dart scene from Ted Lasso. I think you will have a better day.
February 7, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I’d recommend that instead of doomscrolling through headlines in the morning, watch a Mr. Rogers clip or the dart scene from Ted Lasso. I think you will have a better day.