not me playing fortnite online with some dude who lives in ohio
December 22, 2025 at 4:41 AM
not me playing fortnite online with some dude who lives in ohio
asking my dad what the plan is for christmas and getting hit with a “you tell me” is just so so so unhelpful. like? i’m not hosting.
December 9, 2025 at 5:32 PM
asking my dad what the plan is for christmas and getting hit with a “you tell me” is just so so so unhelpful. like? i’m not hosting.
sometimes when i’m lounging on my couch, I think about how the only reason I got it is because of Corey and Tina’s divorce lolololol
December 1, 2025 at 11:39 PM
sometimes when i’m lounging on my couch, I think about how the only reason I got it is because of Corey and Tina’s divorce lolololol
quick does anyone at slyvee have a nose ring i can borrow
November 21, 2025 at 3:07 AM
quick does anyone at slyvee have a nose ring i can borrow
everytime i see someone wearing loafers and socks i get mad because why is it cute when they do it, but when i do it, i look like a little lad who loves berries and cream
November 19, 2025 at 2:14 PM
everytime i see someone wearing loafers and socks i get mad because why is it cute when they do it, but when i do it, i look like a little lad who loves berries and cream
which celebrity chef would you fuck?
November 15, 2025 at 1:58 AM
which celebrity chef would you fuck?
i love having a cat that’s just as obsessed with me as I am with it (Ferguson)
November 5, 2025 at 5:38 PM
i love having a cat that’s just as obsessed with me as I am with it (Ferguson)
i love a single stall bathroom at a bar *cue make way for prince ali*
November 2, 2025 at 2:28 AM
i love a single stall bathroom at a bar *cue make way for prince ali*
my uber driver tonight told me he had fun listening to me and my friend talk. and i was like tysm, that’s actually really nice of you to say. reaffirms my thought i could have a successful podcast just yapping
October 19, 2025 at 10:30 AM
my uber driver tonight told me he had fun listening to me and my friend talk. and i was like tysm, that’s actually really nice of you to say. reaffirms my thought i could have a successful podcast just yapping
me at the dive bar: “can you tell me more about the potato munchies”
October 19, 2025 at 2:48 AM
me at the dive bar: “can you tell me more about the potato munchies”
some little college fucker with his PA plates drove out of his DRIVEWAY cutting me off and i honked and he had the audacity to flip me off.
October 14, 2025 at 10:20 PM
some little college fucker with his PA plates drove out of his DRIVEWAY cutting me off and i honked and he had the audacity to flip me off.
I get a little drunk and start responding to people’s instagram stories like they’re personal DMs
October 4, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I get a little drunk and start responding to people’s instagram stories like they’re personal DMs
finally found a club that plays 2003-2016 club hits watch me move to vegas..odds
October 4, 2025 at 7:29 AM
finally found a club that plays 2003-2016 club hits watch me move to vegas..odds
i’ve been such a gremlin this summer
September 12, 2025 at 1:09 PM
i’ve been such a gremlin this summer
i’m ngl, popping a good pimple lowkey makes my top ten simple pleasures in life
September 11, 2025 at 3:44 AM
i’m ngl, popping a good pimple lowkey makes my top ten simple pleasures in life
i love when Amanda and i both take an adderall and then proceed to yap instead of work
August 29, 2025 at 9:47 PM
i love when Amanda and i both take an adderall and then proceed to yap instead of work
it really does amaze me that i can put on sunscreen every 20 minutes and still burn
August 18, 2025 at 1:52 AM
it really does amaze me that i can put on sunscreen every 20 minutes and still burn
at the gay dive bar i play three for us one for me
August 14, 2025 at 3:01 AM
at the gay dive bar i play three for us one for me
when the light tips on a wednesday turns into a heavy
August 14, 2025 at 2:42 AM
when the light tips on a wednesday turns into a heavy
playing father figure with all the middle aged gays at shamrock on a wednesday hoping i end up in a lavender marriage
August 14, 2025 at 2:29 AM
playing father figure with all the middle aged gays at shamrock on a wednesday hoping i end up in a lavender marriage
thought the penjamin wasnt hitting. Plot Twist: i hit a blinker
August 14, 2025 at 1:10 AM
thought the penjamin wasnt hitting. Plot Twist: i hit a blinker
my IT guy telling me to try restarting it again as if i didn’t lay out all the troubleshooting steps I took in the last hour which included rebooting everything twice makes me want to KMS
August 12, 2025 at 3:23 PM
my IT guy telling me to try restarting it again as if i didn’t lay out all the troubleshooting steps I took in the last hour which included rebooting everything twice makes me want to KMS
downtown by macklemore hits every time
July 26, 2025 at 3:25 AM
downtown by macklemore hits every time
some girl messaged me on instagram “heyyyyy wyd tonight” at 1 am and she def lives in madison but i couldn’t not pick her out in a line up so i def must have met her out somewhere
a woman is sitting in front of a screen with a picture of a man and a woman on it
ALT: a woman is sitting in front of a screen with a picture of a man and a woman on it
media.tenor.com
July 19, 2025 at 6:06 AM
some girl messaged me on instagram “heyyyyy wyd tonight” at 1 am and she def lives in madison but i couldn’t not pick her out in a line up so i def must have met her out somewhere