Today I’m breaking the silence on my struggles with weight gain over decades, the countless years of yo-yo dieting, the shame, agonising over whether to start on the jabs. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever felt the need to write, but it needs to be said.

jpclarkwrites.substack.com/p/my-battle-...

On Father’s Day, recalling this photo of my sweet dad having hysterics at the cushions in a Dunelm store. 🤣

How to mark out an oval lawn.

The reason they put holes in crocs is so your self-respect can seep out effortlessly.

open.substack.com/pub/jpclarkw...

Word of warning: If you are tempted by the trailer of The Merry Gentlemen on Netflix, please know it’s an hour and 27 minutes I will never get back from my life.

I remembered a little story today and it made me chuckle. We’d moved into the deepest English countryside and some locals had put up a makeshift sign to sell freshly cut Christmas trees and Fir wreaths, but they got the spelling wrong.

It’s that time of year again when we all have to wrack our brains for what to buy the most difficult people we know. Hope this helps.

jpclarkwrites.substack.com/p/gifts-for-...

Who else fabricates a reason to visit IKEA just so they can have meatballs? We did it today and I have some serious news: The standard 12 meatballs has been reduced to 8, but it’s the same price. I was affronted. That’s 33% inflation! They weren’t quite so delicious.

I said to my hubby this morning: “What do you fancy doing today? Let’s have some fun.” What did we do? A fun-filled trip to B&Q buying sockets and a radiator, spent an hour searching for decking screws and the highlight, wait for it, was taking something back to TK Maxx. We know how to live!

Hello happy smiley new world! I’m JP. I thought I’d kick things off with a little festive gossip about The Holiday, which has gone a tad viral!

jpclarkwrites.substack.com/p/the-truth-...