We're off on our European adventure. More than 2,500 miles by train across the continent and back. The most expensive leg? Manchester to London, of course

The man in the automated message on the Manchester Civil Justice Centre phone number genuinely sounds unhinged. It only gets worse the longer you listen. Just wait for the bit about bailiffs. Who approved this???

Why is everyone in London so knackered? Does the underground rock you to sleep in a way that the Met doesn't? Everyone looks exhausted