Ah, there’s the seasonal depression I’ve missed so much

Some people should die in a fire

I’ve had such little sleep the past 3 days but you can only tell by the lethargic way I’m moving and the extreme dark circles

My favorite human in the world, @queentofu.bsky.social, has a new video out reacting to The Batman. go watch it and give her some love #TheBatman #ThePenguin

youtu.be/JdsExoop424?...

man, the time change is hitting extra hard this year. Everything just seems *darker*

I open the door to let my dogs inside: they ignore me

I sit down and pick up my PS5 controller: they bang on the door as if I’ve locked them out all day

Assholes

Hi everyone.

The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.

We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.

We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.

I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.

God grant me the serenity to accept I am cooked,

The courage to say fuck it we ball,

And the wisdom to know when we are so back