Jordan B Skeeterson
@jordanbskeeterson.bsky.social
Don't you dare read these posts - or skeets, as I suppose the radical left calls them - in the voice of Kermit the Frog.
Pinned
There's nothing you can say about lobsters that I don't already know, bucko.
What New York City has done is unforgivable. No napkins in the Union Station bathroom? You sons of bitches. I can't plug my anus with regular toilet paper anymore. This is horrific. The true death of the city.
November 6, 2025 at 1:18 AM
What New York City has done is unforgivable. No napkins in the Union Station bathroom? You sons of bitches. I can't plug my anus with regular toilet paper anymore. This is horrific. The true death of the city.
Reposted by Jordan B Skeeterson
Someone more motivated than me should print this on yard signs XX
October 27, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Someone more motivated than me should print this on yard signs XX
Steal Dubai Chocolates.
October 27, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Steal Dubai Chocolates.
Office Space, but written and directed by Scott Adams.
October 27, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Office Space, but written and directed by Scott Adams.
Proteinification? That's rubbish! Just drink a ground beef shake, for God's sake.
October 27, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Proteinification? That's rubbish! Just drink a ground beef shake, for God's sake.
Mirrors are not OK! Self awareness is weakness!
October 26, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Mirrors are not OK! Self awareness is weakness!
If you can deliberately give yourself Crohn's disease, you absolutely should. I did. Look at me now, dad!
October 25, 2025 at 12:32 AM
If you can deliberately give yourself Crohn's disease, you absolutely should. I did. Look at me now, dad!
I think the people behind the movie Sinners should be ashamed of themselves for allowing the destruction of that guitar.
October 18, 2025 at 1:17 AM
I think the people behind the movie Sinners should be ashamed of themselves for allowing the destruction of that guitar.
There's nothing you can say about lobsters that I don't already know, bucko.
October 18, 2025 at 1:15 AM
There's nothing you can say about lobsters that I don't already know, bucko.
Reposted by Jordan B Skeeterson
These tariffs on lesbians are out of hand.
October 9, 2025 at 7:23 PM
These tariffs on lesbians are out of hand.
I'd like to address the rumors that my daughter, Mikhaila Skeeterson, is poisoning me. Well that's simply poppycock. My soup has always tasted a little metallic, because I only use sheep's blood for broth. Stick that in your eye, conspiracy theorists.
October 8, 2025 at 8:07 PM
I'd like to address the rumors that my daughter, Mikhaila Skeeterson, is poisoning me. Well that's simply poppycock. My soup has always tasted a little metallic, because I only use sheep's blood for broth. Stick that in your eye, conspiracy theorists.
When scurvy finally takes me, will I be celebrated like Charles Kirk? I think not. That is its own spiritual attack, in my humble opinion, which makes it fact.
October 8, 2025 at 8:03 PM
When scurvy finally takes me, will I be celebrated like Charles Kirk? I think not. That is its own spiritual attack, in my humble opinion, which makes it fact.
Vegetables are gay.
June 12, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Vegetables are gay.
In fact, society is an evolutionary trait. By that same token, so are sociopaths. The role of the sociopath in egalitarian societies was to go forward with ugly decisions in times of crisis, but if the sociopath got out of hand, they'd simply beat him to death. Paradoxical for sure.
June 12, 2025 at 12:20 PM
In fact, society is an evolutionary trait. By that same token, so are sociopaths. The role of the sociopath in egalitarian societies was to go forward with ugly decisions in times of crisis, but if the sociopath got out of hand, they'd simply beat him to death. Paradoxical for sure.
In Ezekiel 74:12, the wine merchants are doing their thing when the Israelites arrive, and what do you think happened then? Well, I think you know. It was chaos, of course.
June 12, 2025 at 12:19 AM
In Ezekiel 74:12, the wine merchants are doing their thing when the Israelites arrive, and what do you think happened then? Well, I think you know. It was chaos, of course.
Have you ever, EVER heard of a waffle without the little square pits? Strong borders do indeed save syrup, and that's no joke.
June 12, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Have you ever, EVER heard of a waffle without the little square pits? Strong borders do indeed save syrup, and that's no joke.
Well I would say that, in fact, it is easy being green, and I would suggest that, if frogs would take more responsibility for their, you know, lot in life, that they'd find the experience of being green a whole lot easier.
June 11, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Well I would say that, in fact, it is easy being green, and I would suggest that, if frogs would take more responsibility for their, you know, lot in life, that they'd find the experience of being green a whole lot easier.
I've been struck by an overwhelming urge to destroy my digestive system to demonstrate my manhood, which is both primal and primordial. I'm not concerned about my anus, whatsoever.
June 1, 2025 at 3:43 AM
I've been struck by an overwhelming urge to destroy my digestive system to demonstrate my manhood, which is both primal and primordial. I'm not concerned about my anus, whatsoever.
You cannot deny that the existence of werewolves is an apt indictment of the transgenderism ideology.
June 1, 2025 at 1:41 AM
You cannot deny that the existence of werewolves is an apt indictment of the transgenderism ideology.
What's even the point of having a good time if it's at the expense of not shitting your own pants? Go on, tell me, tough guy.
June 1, 2025 at 1:36 AM
What's even the point of having a good time if it's at the expense of not shitting your own pants? Go on, tell me, tough guy.
We can't forget that Avril Levigne's misandry is pervasive. When we say "c ya later boi," what we're saying is that we'll c the boi never. It's astoundingly dishonest, encapsulating the overarching problem with Canadian feminism.
June 1, 2025 at 1:30 AM
We can't forget that Avril Levigne's misandry is pervasive. When we say "c ya later boi," what we're saying is that we'll c the boi never. It's astoundingly dishonest, encapsulating the overarching problem with Canadian feminism.
I don't know if you've ever considered this, but a crab is inherently an imflammatory statement, and I consider that offensive. Don't you?
June 1, 2025 at 1:26 AM
I don't know if you've ever considered this, but a crab is inherently an imflammatory statement, and I consider that offensive. Don't you?