My wife asked “Did you eat the last pizza in the freezer?”
I said “No, I ate it in the living room”
#dadjokes

I turned down a job that would pay me with vegetables.

The celery was unacceptable
#dadjokes

You can't build a Ferris Wheel without iron

You can only build a nonFerris Wheel
#dadjokes

How do fish get high?
Seaweed
#dadjokes

What do you call a photo of the North Pole?
A polar-oid
#dadjokes

A termite walks into a bar and asks:
Is the bar tender here?
#dadjokes