SMILE by Jonny B
@jonny13.bsky.social
Perth's Favourite Funny Poet!
Everything turned to shit when Maccas stopped doing all day breaky.
May 21, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Everything turned to shit when Maccas stopped doing all day breaky.
Which aisle is the profectionery?
May 20, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Which aisle is the profectionery?
Although it could be said that rewriting and not rehearsing is the better option.
April 2, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Although it could be said that rewriting and not rehearsing is the better option.
The problem is I'm not rehearsing, I'm rewriting.
April 2, 2025 at 3:11 PM
The problem is I'm not rehearsing, I'm rewriting.
Hey Perth peeps, poetry lovers, and those who like to laugh.
Come and be a part of the book launch for SMILE by Jonny B - a collection of humorous, punny poems full of wit, twists, and the odd double entendre.
All are invited, details and FREE tickets here:
www.trybooking.com/DACCO
Come and be a part of the book launch for SMILE by Jonny B - a collection of humorous, punny poems full of wit, twists, and the odd double entendre.
All are invited, details and FREE tickets here:
www.trybooking.com/DACCO
Book Launch - SMILE by Jonny B
You're invited to the book launch of SMILE by Jonny B.
📖
It is a collection of his most humorous poetry, a lot of it never before seen nor heard...
www.trybooking.com
March 21, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Hey Perth peeps, poetry lovers, and those who like to laugh.
Come and be a part of the book launch for SMILE by Jonny B - a collection of humorous, punny poems full of wit, twists, and the odd double entendre.
All are invited, details and FREE tickets here:
www.trybooking.com/DACCO
Come and be a part of the book launch for SMILE by Jonny B - a collection of humorous, punny poems full of wit, twists, and the odd double entendre.
All are invited, details and FREE tickets here:
www.trybooking.com/DACCO
I'm no political mind, can someone explain why Australia can't just start charging the US companies like Chevron, et al, proper tax rates instead of giving them free stuff? You know, in response to certain tarrifs... Instead of crawling up Trumps arsehole?
February 13, 2025 at 1:13 AM
I'm no political mind, can someone explain why Australia can't just start charging the US companies like Chevron, et al, proper tax rates instead of giving them free stuff? You know, in response to certain tarrifs... Instead of crawling up Trumps arsehole?
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
From 3pm this Sunday, Jay & The Doctor are BACK on Double J!*
Choosing tunes and telling stories. And the first show has got some real clangers. (Both the tunes and probably stories.
www.abc.net.au/listen/progr...
*briefly. One month only.
Choosing tunes and telling stories. And the first show has got some real clangers. (Both the tunes and probably stories.
www.abc.net.au/listen/progr...
*briefly. One month only.
January 30, 2025 at 4:44 AM
From 3pm this Sunday, Jay & The Doctor are BACK on Double J!*
Choosing tunes and telling stories. And the first show has got some real clangers. (Both the tunes and probably stories.
www.abc.net.au/listen/progr...
*briefly. One month only.
Choosing tunes and telling stories. And the first show has got some real clangers. (Both the tunes and probably stories.
www.abc.net.au/listen/progr...
*briefly. One month only.
I can't believe that some people's blood is made of hay, some of bees, and some have both or none at all! And some even have blood made of own or hope!
December 22, 2024 at 9:55 AM
I can't believe that some people's blood is made of hay, some of bees, and some have both or none at all! And some even have blood made of own or hope!
On my 12th Aussie Xmas my true blue gave to me:
12 drunks a-driving
11 sausages sizzling
10 pints a-pouring
9 skimpies stripping
8 cones a-smoking
7 surfers surfing
6 staffies spinning
5 HSVs
4 beach babes
3 mullets
2 packs of durries
And a bogan in a mankini
12 drunks a-driving
11 sausages sizzling
10 pints a-pouring
9 skimpies stripping
8 cones a-smoking
7 surfers surfing
6 staffies spinning
5 HSVs
4 beach babes
3 mullets
2 packs of durries
And a bogan in a mankini
December 19, 2024 at 6:33 AM
On my 12th Aussie Xmas my true blue gave to me:
12 drunks a-driving
11 sausages sizzling
10 pints a-pouring
9 skimpies stripping
8 cones a-smoking
7 surfers surfing
6 staffies spinning
5 HSVs
4 beach babes
3 mullets
2 packs of durries
And a bogan in a mankini
12 drunks a-driving
11 sausages sizzling
10 pints a-pouring
9 skimpies stripping
8 cones a-smoking
7 surfers surfing
6 staffies spinning
5 HSVs
4 beach babes
3 mullets
2 packs of durries
And a bogan in a mankini
I'm a proper man! I wash my hair with REAL poo.
December 7, 2024 at 2:28 AM
I'm a proper man! I wash my hair with REAL poo.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
After my meal I was given a biscuit.
I broke it in half and it played Greensleeves, Fur Elise, Twinkle Twinkle, and Yankee Doodle Dandy.
It was a fortune cookie.
I broke it in half and it played Greensleeves, Fur Elise, Twinkle Twinkle, and Yankee Doodle Dandy.
It was a fortune cookie.
October 22, 2024 at 10:47 PM
After my meal I was given a biscuit.
I broke it in half and it played Greensleeves, Fur Elise, Twinkle Twinkle, and Yankee Doodle Dandy.
It was a fortune cookie.
I broke it in half and it played Greensleeves, Fur Elise, Twinkle Twinkle, and Yankee Doodle Dandy.
It was a fortune cookie.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
I feel that by now it's a missed opportunity not to have produced a World Trade Center edition of Jenga.
October 25, 2024 at 11:53 AM
I feel that by now it's a missed opportunity not to have produced a World Trade Center edition of Jenga.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
I got a new followerer yesterday; which doesn't sound like a big deal, but she's parked out the front of my house and isn't leaving.
October 28, 2024 at 11:46 AM
I got a new followerer yesterday; which doesn't sound like a big deal, but she's parked out the front of my house and isn't leaving.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
I bet porn wouldn't be so popular if Smellivision™ had been invented.
October 29, 2024 at 9:07 AM
I bet porn wouldn't be so popular if Smellivision™ had been invented.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
My wife thinks the Saw movies are scary.
Not because of the gruesome traps.
Because there's instructions involved.
Not because of the gruesome traps.
Because there's instructions involved.
October 24, 2024 at 5:46 AM
My wife thinks the Saw movies are scary.
Not because of the gruesome traps.
Because there's instructions involved.
Not because of the gruesome traps.
Because there's instructions involved.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
I thought about having a gay experience so I tried sniffing some poppers. I was pulling the streamers out of my nose for days.
October 26, 2024 at 11:16 AM
I thought about having a gay experience so I tried sniffing some poppers. I was pulling the streamers out of my nose for days.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
The doctor told me I need to eat more greens.
Their flesh is easy to eat but their policies are hard to swallow.
Their flesh is easy to eat but their policies are hard to swallow.
October 27, 2024 at 12:30 PM
The doctor told me I need to eat more greens.
Their flesh is easy to eat but their policies are hard to swallow.
Their flesh is easy to eat but their policies are hard to swallow.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
Blood is thicker than water. Jesus could turn water into wine. Wine is the blood of christ. Ergo, Jesus' body was less of a cardiopulmonary system and more of a hydraulic system.
October 29, 2024 at 9:05 PM
Blood is thicker than water. Jesus could turn water into wine. Wine is the blood of christ. Ergo, Jesus' body was less of a cardiopulmonary system and more of a hydraulic system.
Reposted by SMILE by Jonny B
A depression is an indentation or small hollow. A well is a deep dark hole. So yeah, I'm feeling well.
November 2, 2024 at 4:26 AM
A depression is an indentation or small hollow. A well is a deep dark hole. So yeah, I'm feeling well.
A depression is an indentation or small hollow. A well is a deep dark hole. So yeah, I'm feeling well.
November 2, 2024 at 4:26 AM
A depression is an indentation or small hollow. A well is a deep dark hole. So yeah, I'm feeling well.
Blood is thicker than water. Jesus could turn water into wine. Wine is the blood of christ. Ergo, Jesus' body was less of a cardiopulmonary system and more of a hydraulic system.
October 29, 2024 at 9:05 PM
Blood is thicker than water. Jesus could turn water into wine. Wine is the blood of christ. Ergo, Jesus' body was less of a cardiopulmonary system and more of a hydraulic system.
I bet porn wouldn't be so popular if Smellivision™ had been invented.
October 29, 2024 at 9:07 AM
I bet porn wouldn't be so popular if Smellivision™ had been invented.
I got a new followerer yesterday; which doesn't sound like a big deal, but she's parked out the front of my house and isn't leaving.
October 28, 2024 at 11:46 AM
I got a new followerer yesterday; which doesn't sound like a big deal, but she's parked out the front of my house and isn't leaving.
