Jonathan Maiorana
jonathanmaiorana.bsky.social
Jonathan Maiorana
@jonathanmaiorana.bsky.social
What do you call a Cephalopod tattoo? Squid ink.
December 23, 2025 at 10:55 PM
When I use my bidet in the wintertime it's like a cold plunge for my butthole. #biohacking
December 12, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Jon Honey Baked Hamm Company
December 11, 2025 at 5:47 PM
I love Christmas time because everyone is comfortable showing off their husky, bearded man blow up dolls.
December 10, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃 🔫
November 27, 2025 at 5:57 PM
What do you call a flat butt? A 2D booty.
November 22, 2025 at 11:12 PM
I just realized that alkaline batteries and bras use a similar size system.
November 22, 2025 at 1:38 AM
On average, I'm average.
November 12, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Not liking mayonnaise is suspicious.
September 14, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Optimus walks like it has to take a poop.
September 9, 2025 at 9:00 PM
🎵 I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my phone is (phone is)
I don't know where my phone is 🎵
September 8, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Third time's the charm #starship?
August 26, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Awesome sauce? Nah, saucesome.
August 24, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Am I a machinist? Not quite. More like machinish.
August 17, 2025 at 3:57 PM
I'm gonna go Grok my GPT if that's okay.
August 11, 2025 at 7:50 PM
When do we start calling regular braking (disc, drum, etc) degenerative braking?
July 22, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Chick-fil-A should run the TSA screening lines.
July 15, 2025 at 12:40 AM
"Why do you waste your time fixing stuff? Just buy a new one!"

Because time is money, but knowledge is power, and I'd much rather have power than money.
June 27, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Band name idea:

Discount Dahlias
June 23, 2025 at 4:03 PM
My infant just pooped in their diaper and it leaked out into my leg. Now it's really Father's Day!
June 15, 2025 at 11:57 AM
Gardening is really just weeding and watering. If you don't like weeding or watering, don't start a garden.
June 10, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Mini hands make light work.
June 8, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Javascript: The only change is constants.
May 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Freezers are kind of like time machines.
May 23, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Chicken Momo?
May 16, 2025 at 4:11 PM