Jonathan Maiorana
@jonathanmaiorana.bsky.social
What do you call a Cephalopod tattoo? Squid ink.
December 23, 2025 at 10:55 PM
What do you call a Cephalopod tattoo? Squid ink.
When I use my bidet in the wintertime it's like a cold plunge for my butthole. #biohacking
December 12, 2025 at 2:33 PM
When I use my bidet in the wintertime it's like a cold plunge for my butthole. #biohacking
Jon Honey Baked Hamm Company
December 11, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Jon Honey Baked Hamm Company
I love Christmas time because everyone is comfortable showing off their husky, bearded man blow up dolls.
December 10, 2025 at 9:32 PM
I love Christmas time because everyone is comfortable showing off their husky, bearded man blow up dolls.
Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃 🔫
November 27, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃 🔫
What do you call a flat butt? A 2D booty.
November 22, 2025 at 11:12 PM
What do you call a flat butt? A 2D booty.
I just realized that alkaline batteries and bras use a similar size system.
November 22, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I just realized that alkaline batteries and bras use a similar size system.
On average, I'm average.
November 12, 2025 at 2:57 AM
On average, I'm average.
Not liking mayonnaise is suspicious.
September 14, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Not liking mayonnaise is suspicious.
Optimus walks like it has to take a poop.
September 9, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Optimus walks like it has to take a poop.
🎵 I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my phone is (phone is)
I don't know where my phone is 🎵
I don't know where my phone is (phone is)
I don't know where my phone is 🎵
September 8, 2025 at 1:58 AM
🎵 I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my phone is (phone is)
I don't know where my phone is 🎵
I don't know where my phone is (phone is)
I don't know where my phone is 🎵
Awesome sauce? Nah, saucesome.
August 24, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Awesome sauce? Nah, saucesome.
Am I a machinist? Not quite. More like machinish.
August 17, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Am I a machinist? Not quite. More like machinish.
I'm gonna go Grok my GPT if that's okay.
August 11, 2025 at 7:50 PM
I'm gonna go Grok my GPT if that's okay.
When do we start calling regular braking (disc, drum, etc) degenerative braking?
July 22, 2025 at 8:13 PM
When do we start calling regular braking (disc, drum, etc) degenerative braking?
Chick-fil-A should run the TSA screening lines.
July 15, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Chick-fil-A should run the TSA screening lines.
"Why do you waste your time fixing stuff? Just buy a new one!"
Because time is money, but knowledge is power, and I'd much rather have power than money.
Because time is money, but knowledge is power, and I'd much rather have power than money.
June 27, 2025 at 6:09 PM
"Why do you waste your time fixing stuff? Just buy a new one!"
Because time is money, but knowledge is power, and I'd much rather have power than money.
Because time is money, but knowledge is power, and I'd much rather have power than money.
Band name idea:
Discount Dahlias
Discount Dahlias
June 23, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Band name idea:
Discount Dahlias
Discount Dahlias
My infant just pooped in their diaper and it leaked out into my leg. Now it's really Father's Day!
June 15, 2025 at 11:57 AM
My infant just pooped in their diaper and it leaked out into my leg. Now it's really Father's Day!
Gardening is really just weeding and watering. If you don't like weeding or watering, don't start a garden.
June 10, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Gardening is really just weeding and watering. If you don't like weeding or watering, don't start a garden.
Mini hands make light work.
June 8, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Mini hands make light work.
Javascript: The only change is constants.
May 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Javascript: The only change is constants.
Freezers are kind of like time machines.
May 23, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Freezers are kind of like time machines.