Food from a Balkan restaurant where the waiter shrugs as if to say "it's your funeral" after taking your order
August 24, 2025 at 5:51 AM
Food from a Balkan restaurant where the waiter shrugs as if to say "it's your funeral" after taking your order
When I was a kid, one of our neighbors stole my parent's car and used it as a battering ram in a bank robbery. My folks like to talk about all the opportunities our generation got that they didn't have, but what about my opportunity to rob a bank. What about that
August 15, 2025 at 6:14 PM
When I was a kid, one of our neighbors stole my parent's car and used it as a battering ram in a bank robbery. My folks like to talk about all the opportunities our generation got that they didn't have, but what about my opportunity to rob a bank. What about that
It's been a while since I've swiped my card, so I tried and it didn't work. It's fine. I don't need to sleep
August 15, 2025 at 5:28 PM
It's been a while since I've swiped my card, so I tried and it didn't work. It's fine. I don't need to sleep
*Grips sink and stares into mirror* you will be just as bisexual with a driver's license
August 14, 2025 at 3:15 PM
*Grips sink and stares into mirror* you will be just as bisexual with a driver's license
Summer clothes are too LIGHT, I hate them, I want HEAVY
August 14, 2025 at 9:02 AM
Summer clothes are too LIGHT, I hate them, I want HEAVY
Once again my evil plan of holding every single one of you in my heart has been thwarted
August 12, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Once again my evil plan of holding every single one of you in my heart has been thwarted
This cannot possibly be the same public transport system as the one in the Gilmore Girls theme song
August 12, 2025 at 7:00 AM
This cannot possibly be the same public transport system as the one in the Gilmore Girls theme song
At the conference saying, "Get your phone out, let's connect!" to every Patagonia vest and then knocking it out of their hands
August 11, 2025 at 4:47 PM
At the conference saying, "Get your phone out, let's connect!" to every Patagonia vest and then knocking it out of their hands
You can be doing everything right (buying parsley, minding your own business), but the haters (some kid outside the store and his fuckass friends) are always gonna hate
August 11, 2025 at 4:23 PM
You can be doing everything right (buying parsley, minding your own business), but the haters (some kid outside the store and his fuckass friends) are always gonna hate
I get along with cats bc we both hate the vacuum cleaner
August 7, 2025 at 3:15 PM
I get along with cats bc we both hate the vacuum cleaner
Girlfriend ASMR that tells you you are sooo smart and don't need generative AI
August 6, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Girlfriend ASMR that tells you you are sooo smart and don't need generative AI
My nephew (2 years old) is pretending to work behind the couch cushion. He says he earns 4 money and a couple of meatballs. Not bad tbh. Might submit an application
August 2, 2025 at 5:50 PM
My nephew (2 years old) is pretending to work behind the couch cushion. He says he earns 4 money and a couple of meatballs. Not bad tbh. Might submit an application
*Grasping the sides of your face* I want you to really, really understand that when you're listening to an interview with someone powerful and not understanding what they're saying, it's unlikely that they're smarter than you and much more likely that they're confidently speaking complete nonsense
July 25, 2025 at 3:35 PM
*Grasping the sides of your face* I want you to really, really understand that when you're listening to an interview with someone powerful and not understanding what they're saying, it's unlikely that they're smarter than you and much more likely that they're confidently speaking complete nonsense
When your manager wants to know the highlight of your summer, maybe don't describe disc golf as "like regular golf but with more frisbees and less wealth-hoarding"
July 25, 2025 at 8:02 AM
When your manager wants to know the highlight of your summer, maybe don't describe disc golf as "like regular golf but with more frisbees and less wealth-hoarding"
If you are looking for your next journey, I highly recommend the journey from Comp. Lit major to faerie smut enthusiast 📚💙
July 23, 2025 at 10:24 AM
If you are looking for your next journey, I highly recommend the journey from Comp. Lit major to faerie smut enthusiast 📚💙
I am not reccomending you go to a screening of Akira and have 2.5L of popcorn for dinner while running a fever, I'm just saying I think I glimpsed god
July 22, 2025 at 8:48 PM
I am not reccomending you go to a screening of Akira and have 2.5L of popcorn for dinner while running a fever, I'm just saying I think I glimpsed god
Yap away. I want to never have to guess what's in there. Please understand that I need you narrate this entire relationship
July 22, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Yap away. I want to never have to guess what's in there. Please understand that I need you narrate this entire relationship
My "take a multivitamin and come back if you die" type of doctor just put me on antibiotics so I'll see you if I see you
July 21, 2025 at 12:21 PM
My "take a multivitamin and come back if you die" type of doctor just put me on antibiotics so I'll see you if I see you
Please make sure my tombstone says "Never bothered a single doctor"
July 21, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Please make sure my tombstone says "Never bothered a single doctor"
I am Sisyphus and my rock is the clearing of notifications from apps I never wanted to begin with
July 21, 2025 at 6:30 AM
I am Sisyphus and my rock is the clearing of notifications from apps I never wanted to begin with
Big on mornings. You wake up, they're there
July 21, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Big on mornings. You wake up, they're there
Halfway through A Little Hatred. #Booksky, will a plot emerge or will everything just continue to suck? I like the writing but if all of this misery isn't leading to anything, I wanna grab something else
July 18, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Halfway through A Little Hatred. #Booksky, will a plot emerge or will everything just continue to suck? I like the writing but if all of this misery isn't leading to anything, I wanna grab something else
Yesterday was one for the books 🥏 Sun was shining. Discs were flying. Ahh
July 18, 2025 at 6:38 AM
Yesterday was one for the books 🥏 Sun was shining. Discs were flying. Ahh
Whoever let me out today made a huge mistake
July 17, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Whoever let me out today made a huge mistake
Not everything can be solved by exacting revenge upon boykind, but we won't know which things can until we try
July 16, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Not everything can be solved by exacting revenge upon boykind, but we won't know which things can until we try