Ah, the joys of customer service. I know them well. Keep smiling and hoping karma will find them. xx

Mr Macbeth, you clearly have not tried Dove Luxury Soap. Available at your local store....

Holding you in the light.

Reminds me of the late great Maggie Smith. Nobody could do withering looks quite like her.

Cymbeline's wife: 'Well, you're a bundle of laughs today, Cym'.

I don't think he'd be great as Jane Eyre.

I will never yuck your yum and I love the phrase 'yucking your yum' and I need to use it more often now.

I blame Kindle - nobody needs a boy to turn the pages any more.

And now I'm imagining a psychological horror movie, perhaps something like 'The Shining' and something scary is about to happen....

I'm sorry to say that a mini jar is only enough for one piece of toast if you're me. But you're not me, and maybe you're not as fanatical about thick layers of jam as I am....

You could try this....