Resentment builds due to unmet expectations, due to agreeing to things you didn’t feel good about or have the capacity for, due to some type of self abandonment or due to believing that you have been wronged. Resentment is both a complex emotion and complex to detangle.

The hardest thing to trust is that your partner is doing their own internal work of identifying difficult emotions and communicating them effectively. Without that, some deterioration becomes inevitable.

Getting podcast ready!
Bluntly Speaking launching soon 🤍

Just because you have compassion for somebody’s pain or trauma’s doesn’t mean you should lose respect for yourself.

You don’t owe it to them or their past pain to tolerate ridicule, shaming and so on. You owe it to yourself to stand up for yourself and leave.

the way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with how much you accept yourself and like yourself. The more room you have for a growth mindset or to learn from your own mistakes the more likely you are to accept criticisms without them crushing who you are or your defensive mechanisms flaring

Any relationship is a two way street

It is YOUR responsibility to raise your needs but it is NOT your partner's responsibility to meet them. Having your needs met is a matter of compromise, negotiation and capacity

An adult tantrum is “common in people who struggle with emotional regulation and are still holding on to survival mechanisms they picked up in childhood.”

Connection requires your presence and engagement. It requires curiosity and openness to your partner and their desires. Even if you feel that you do care, being able to show that requires skill 💛

How your language sets the tone