Tom denies the existence of garlic

Tom if you wanted this joke to make sense you should’ve done something like
“I like my Ketamine the way Trumps likes the Epstein client list: I’m on it”
Either way the joke sucks and should stay a draft though

Nardwuar hit us with a lineup we won’t see the likes of for years

You’re reading Bram Stoker, I’m tryna Bram Stroke her

Has anyone said this before?
She jack my antonoff

Guy who has only listened to the box by Roddy Rich listening to Pink Floyd for the first time: “yo this sounds a lot like Roddy Rich.”

Boomers have everything? Really? I NEVER bought a house. I didn’t even have a saving account until I was 57

Why do I keep getting suggested marvel rivals content? I might be 64, divorced, and sad but I’m not a loser

Just found out the political party Xi jinping is a part of. Why does he want to see that?

Me and all my friends at the CIA are organizing a group so we can watch your every move. There will be clues.

Using wands you’ve never heard of casting spells you can’t pronounce

“We bring the boom, your favorite father and son”? I don’t think so. My favorite father and son is Jesus and the lord. Amen.

Cryptocurrency ruined my marriage

It’s gonna suck when I’m dating Dua Lipa and have to pretend her music is good.