John Learned
@johnlearned.bsky.social
A charming man of leisure. Seen on WIRED, USGamer, Kotaku, Polygon, etc. Annotates games on YouTube. Jason Statham looks like me
john dot learned at gmail dot com
john dot learned at gmail dot com
47. Super Smash Bros. Melee
Once got snowed in during my college years for 3 days. My buddies and I saw this as an opportunity and unlocked everything in Melee like we were freelancing a guide. I've never eaten more doughnuts in my life
Once got snowed in during my college years for 3 days. My buddies and I saw this as an opportunity and unlocked everything in Melee like we were freelancing a guide. I've never eaten more doughnuts in my life
November 14, 2025 at 7:33 PM
47. Super Smash Bros. Melee
Once got snowed in during my college years for 3 days. My buddies and I saw this as an opportunity and unlocked everything in Melee like we were freelancing a guide. I've never eaten more doughnuts in my life
Once got snowed in during my college years for 3 days. My buddies and I saw this as an opportunity and unlocked everything in Melee like we were freelancing a guide. I've never eaten more doughnuts in my life
48. Metroid Prime
I used to get horrible motion sickness playing 1st person games, but I suffered through it to enjoy this one. After moving to a new city, this was an early roommate bonding experience (def a coincidence that this is coming up today)
I used to get horrible motion sickness playing 1st person games, but I suffered through it to enjoy this one. After moving to a new city, this was an early roommate bonding experience (def a coincidence that this is coming up today)
November 14, 2025 at 7:30 PM
48. Metroid Prime
I used to get horrible motion sickness playing 1st person games, but I suffered through it to enjoy this one. After moving to a new city, this was an early roommate bonding experience (def a coincidence that this is coming up today)
I used to get horrible motion sickness playing 1st person games, but I suffered through it to enjoy this one. After moving to a new city, this was an early roommate bonding experience (def a coincidence that this is coming up today)
49. El Shaddai
Sometimes, vibes are enough
Sometimes, vibes are enough
November 12, 2025 at 7:47 PM
49. El Shaddai
Sometimes, vibes are enough
Sometimes, vibes are enough
50. Saiyuki: The Journey West
This game had so much going for it, but it is an absolute drag to play. Whenever I peak over at my PS1 games, I see it and get the urge to play it and then remember that one battle will take 14 hours. Fix this game, modders
This game had so much going for it, but it is an absolute drag to play. Whenever I peak over at my PS1 games, I see it and get the urge to play it and then remember that one battle will take 14 hours. Fix this game, modders
November 11, 2025 at 2:56 PM
50. Saiyuki: The Journey West
This game had so much going for it, but it is an absolute drag to play. Whenever I peak over at my PS1 games, I see it and get the urge to play it and then remember that one battle will take 14 hours. Fix this game, modders
This game had so much going for it, but it is an absolute drag to play. Whenever I peak over at my PS1 games, I see it and get the urge to play it and then remember that one battle will take 14 hours. Fix this game, modders
51. Street Fighter X Tekken
This is a tough one. I hate the aesthetic, but still love what Capcom did with the Tekken cast. I hate the gems (as do we all), but love how Capcom evolved the game to be competitive without them. I hated playing it, but now I miss playing it
This is a tough one. I hate the aesthetic, but still love what Capcom did with the Tekken cast. I hate the gems (as do we all), but love how Capcom evolved the game to be competitive without them. I hated playing it, but now I miss playing it
November 11, 2025 at 2:50 PM
51. Street Fighter X Tekken
This is a tough one. I hate the aesthetic, but still love what Capcom did with the Tekken cast. I hate the gems (as do we all), but love how Capcom evolved the game to be competitive without them. I hated playing it, but now I miss playing it
This is a tough one. I hate the aesthetic, but still love what Capcom did with the Tekken cast. I hate the gems (as do we all), but love how Capcom evolved the game to be competitive without them. I hated playing it, but now I miss playing it
52. Strider NES
The older I got, the more I realized that this isn't a good game, but still. There's a cool factor to this that other games of its era lacked
The older I got, the more I realized that this isn't a good game, but still. There's a cool factor to this that other games of its era lacked
November 11, 2025 at 2:44 PM
52. Strider NES
The older I got, the more I realized that this isn't a good game, but still. There's a cool factor to this that other games of its era lacked
The older I got, the more I realized that this isn't a good game, but still. There's a cool factor to this that other games of its era lacked
53. Zelda: Link Between Worlds
This sure is a good video game
This sure is a good video game
November 11, 2025 at 2:41 PM
53. Zelda: Link Between Worlds
This sure is a good video game
This sure is a good video game
54. Street Fighter Alpha 2
I like this game for one thing only: trying to get conversational dialog between characters during arcade mode. Ultimately, this is stupid because it's so hard to do for so little payoff. In practice, it's what your teenage years are made for
I like this game for one thing only: trying to get conversational dialog between characters during arcade mode. Ultimately, this is stupid because it's so hard to do for so little payoff. In practice, it's what your teenage years are made for
November 11, 2025 at 2:39 PM
54. Street Fighter Alpha 2
I like this game for one thing only: trying to get conversational dialog between characters during arcade mode. Ultimately, this is stupid because it's so hard to do for so little payoff. In practice, it's what your teenage years are made for
I like this game for one thing only: trying to get conversational dialog between characters during arcade mode. Ultimately, this is stupid because it's so hard to do for so little payoff. In practice, it's what your teenage years are made for
55. Castle of Dragon
This is, uh, not a good game. But I found it hauntingly weird as a kid. Haven't played it in a while, but it's one of those games that I just can't ditch from my collection. We've all got our things, I guess
This is, uh, not a good game. But I found it hauntingly weird as a kid. Haven't played it in a while, but it's one of those games that I just can't ditch from my collection. We've all got our things, I guess
November 6, 2025 at 2:53 PM
55. Castle of Dragon
This is, uh, not a good game. But I found it hauntingly weird as a kid. Haven't played it in a while, but it's one of those games that I just can't ditch from my collection. We've all got our things, I guess
This is, uh, not a good game. But I found it hauntingly weird as a kid. Haven't played it in a while, but it's one of those games that I just can't ditch from my collection. We've all got our things, I guess
56. House of the Dead: Overkill
I laugh like an idiot playing this game. I'm also about 99.95% sure that the VO guy for Bar Rescue is in the cast, which is even funnier to me
I laugh like an idiot playing this game. I'm also about 99.95% sure that the VO guy for Bar Rescue is in the cast, which is even funnier to me
November 6, 2025 at 2:42 PM
56. House of the Dead: Overkill
I laugh like an idiot playing this game. I'm also about 99.95% sure that the VO guy for Bar Rescue is in the cast, which is even funnier to me
I laugh like an idiot playing this game. I'm also about 99.95% sure that the VO guy for Bar Rescue is in the cast, which is even funnier to me
57. Breakout
I mean, it's Breakout
I mean, it's Breakout
November 4, 2025 at 9:58 PM
57. Breakout
I mean, it's Breakout
I mean, it's Breakout
58. Double Dragon 2 ARC
I remember playing this for the first time and feeling like everything was just meaner. Bad guys looked mean, controls were definitely mean, the colors were mean top to bottom. Mean is cool sometimes
I remember playing this for the first time and feeling like everything was just meaner. Bad guys looked mean, controls were definitely mean, the colors were mean top to bottom. Mean is cool sometimes
November 3, 2025 at 3:54 PM
58. Double Dragon 2 ARC
I remember playing this for the first time and feeling like everything was just meaner. Bad guys looked mean, controls were definitely mean, the colors were mean top to bottom. Mean is cool sometimes
I remember playing this for the first time and feeling like everything was just meaner. Bad guys looked mean, controls were definitely mean, the colors were mean top to bottom. Mean is cool sometimes
59. Beyond Oasis
A pretty great Zelda clone for the MD/GEN. Sega wisely re-releases this whenever they get a chance, but nobody really talks about it, and that just baffles me
A pretty great Zelda clone for the MD/GEN. Sega wisely re-releases this whenever they get a chance, but nobody really talks about it, and that just baffles me
November 3, 2025 at 3:46 PM
59. Beyond Oasis
A pretty great Zelda clone for the MD/GEN. Sega wisely re-releases this whenever they get a chance, but nobody really talks about it, and that just baffles me
A pretty great Zelda clone for the MD/GEN. Sega wisely re-releases this whenever they get a chance, but nobody really talks about it, and that just baffles me
Also this cover for the JPN release goes pretty hard
November 3, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Also this cover for the JPN release goes pretty hard
60. Tobal No. 1
I spent an obnoxious amount of time running through this game's roguelike dungeon only to unlock a robot character that was absolute trash. Still a cool game, though. Tons of fun Toriyama characters, even though they didn't all translate well to early 3D
I spent an obnoxious amount of time running through this game's roguelike dungeon only to unlock a robot character that was absolute trash. Still a cool game, though. Tons of fun Toriyama characters, even though they didn't all translate well to early 3D
November 3, 2025 at 3:42 PM
60. Tobal No. 1
I spent an obnoxious amount of time running through this game's roguelike dungeon only to unlock a robot character that was absolute trash. Still a cool game, though. Tons of fun Toriyama characters, even though they didn't all translate well to early 3D
I spent an obnoxious amount of time running through this game's roguelike dungeon only to unlock a robot character that was absolute trash. Still a cool game, though. Tons of fun Toriyama characters, even though they didn't all translate well to early 3D
61. PT
I don't actively seek or avoid scary stuff, and maybe this is on the list for the ephemera alone, but this was something genuinely terrifying to me. I never "finished" it and was just stuck in the loop, but that was enough. RIP PT
I don't actively seek or avoid scary stuff, and maybe this is on the list for the ephemera alone, but this was something genuinely terrifying to me. I never "finished" it and was just stuck in the loop, but that was enough. RIP PT
October 31, 2025 at 3:13 PM
61. PT
I don't actively seek or avoid scary stuff, and maybe this is on the list for the ephemera alone, but this was something genuinely terrifying to me. I never "finished" it and was just stuck in the loop, but that was enough. RIP PT
I don't actively seek or avoid scary stuff, and maybe this is on the list for the ephemera alone, but this was something genuinely terrifying to me. I never "finished" it and was just stuck in the loop, but that was enough. RIP PT
62. Samurai Shodown 3
I think I appreciate this game more for how it changed the franchise vs. actually playing it, the slightly darker tone still looks great, and the slash/bust options give it so much replayability. The latter games will live on, but they can thank 3 for that
I think I appreciate this game more for how it changed the franchise vs. actually playing it, the slightly darker tone still looks great, and the slash/bust options give it so much replayability. The latter games will live on, but they can thank 3 for that
October 30, 2025 at 8:07 PM
62. Samurai Shodown 3
I think I appreciate this game more for how it changed the franchise vs. actually playing it, the slightly darker tone still looks great, and the slash/bust options give it so much replayability. The latter games will live on, but they can thank 3 for that
I think I appreciate this game more for how it changed the franchise vs. actually playing it, the slightly darker tone still looks great, and the slash/bust options give it so much replayability. The latter games will live on, but they can thank 3 for that
63. Chasm
The best trick that Chasm pulls off is that it feels like it's a hand-crafted experience, but no, it's a new seed every playthrough. I only thought it was so/so when I first played it, but going back to it last year, I really found myself loving it
The best trick that Chasm pulls off is that it feels like it's a hand-crafted experience, but no, it's a new seed every playthrough. I only thought it was so/so when I first played it, but going back to it last year, I really found myself loving it
October 29, 2025 at 1:51 PM
63. Chasm
The best trick that Chasm pulls off is that it feels like it's a hand-crafted experience, but no, it's a new seed every playthrough. I only thought it was so/so when I first played it, but going back to it last year, I really found myself loving it
The best trick that Chasm pulls off is that it feels like it's a hand-crafted experience, but no, it's a new seed every playthrough. I only thought it was so/so when I first played it, but going back to it last year, I really found myself loving it
I jumped into GEN/MD when Altered Beast was still the pack-in and I love it to death. I refuse to pick a singular favorite, so let's just marvel at how all 3 Shinobi games kick ass
October 29, 2025 at 1:39 PM
I jumped into GEN/MD when Altered Beast was still the pack-in and I love it to death. I refuse to pick a singular favorite, so let's just marvel at how all 3 Shinobi games kick ass
64. Rogue Legacy
This is where my interest in roguelikes hit its peak
This is where my interest in roguelikes hit its peak
October 28, 2025 at 3:44 PM
64. Rogue Legacy
This is where my interest in roguelikes hit its peak
This is where my interest in roguelikes hit its peak
65. Wolfenstein: The New Order
I'm not an FPS guy. But I sure am a Nazi-punching guy
I'm not an FPS guy. But I sure am a Nazi-punching guy
October 27, 2025 at 1:55 PM
65. Wolfenstein: The New Order
I'm not an FPS guy. But I sure am a Nazi-punching guy
I'm not an FPS guy. But I sure am a Nazi-punching guy
66. Fez
It is ok to separate the art from the artist sometimes. Let's leave it at that
It is ok to separate the art from the artist sometimes. Let's leave it at that
October 27, 2025 at 1:53 PM
66. Fez
It is ok to separate the art from the artist sometimes. Let's leave it at that
It is ok to separate the art from the artist sometimes. Let's leave it at that
67. Jamestown+
To explain this game is a disservice. You like shooters? You like good-looking shooters? You like 'em with, uh, a side of weirdness? Yeah you do
To explain this game is a disservice. You like shooters? You like good-looking shooters? You like 'em with, uh, a side of weirdness? Yeah you do
October 27, 2025 at 1:51 PM
67. Jamestown+
To explain this game is a disservice. You like shooters? You like good-looking shooters? You like 'em with, uh, a side of weirdness? Yeah you do
To explain this game is a disservice. You like shooters? You like good-looking shooters? You like 'em with, uh, a side of weirdness? Yeah you do
68. Moss
The only VR game I've ever really enjoyed beginning to end. Too bad that I'll basically never play it again per Sony's clusterfuck of platform planning
The only VR game I've ever really enjoyed beginning to end. Too bad that I'll basically never play it again per Sony's clusterfuck of platform planning
October 24, 2025 at 3:01 PM
68. Moss
The only VR game I've ever really enjoyed beginning to end. Too bad that I'll basically never play it again per Sony's clusterfuck of platform planning
The only VR game I've ever really enjoyed beginning to end. Too bad that I'll basically never play it again per Sony's clusterfuck of platform planning